In shop form!
This is GamesMaster, a games shop located in war-torn Peckham, South London. We thought you might like to see GamesMaster and read a bit about Peckham, especially if you’re from America or a posher part of London (that’s all the rest of it) and have never been there.
NOTE TO FOREIGN READERS:
This is of interest to UK people because back in the early-to-mid-1990s there was a TV show about games on TV called “GamesMaster” that was really good, despite it never featuring enough Sega games in its challenges.
Peckham is a part of London people pretend doesn’t exist. It’s like a lump you find on your body, then ignore and hope it goes away on its own. The residents are scared to go outside, but at least they all have satellite TV for something to do!
Peckham is easily the shittest place in the whole world, including places like Afghanistan and Somalia.
Every time we walk through Peckham we expect to get offered drugs, murdered for drugs, searched for drugs or ground up into powder and used as drugs.
There’s an arcade in Peckham, but we were too scared to go in it as we had our digital camera with us. Knowing Peckham, we didn’t miss much. It probably hasn’t even got Daytona USA in!
If you have shoes that cost more than ten pounds in Peckham you are considered to be a KING.
This is where people from Peckham buy their clothes. You can get a pair of work trousers for around 50p in Primark, apparently, and you get flu and nits for free!
This is Peckham’s idea of a shopping centre. Walking into it feels like being a homosexual and walking into a bar in Texas with a pink t-shirt on. Even in the North of England, like Watford or Hemel Hempstead they have nicer shopping centres than this.
Here, in the sphincter of the sphincter of London, there lies a shop called GamesMaster. We didn’t ask if it is officially licensed from the Channel 4 show or Future Publishing magazine of the same name, we just assumed it is not.
The chances of anyone from Channel 4 or GamesMaster production company Hewland or mag publisher Future ever venturing into Peckham are pretty fucking remote, so we guess they’re safe from getting sued.
Apart from now.
There’s not many people buying things in GamesMaster in Peckham. That’s because if you buy anything in Peckham you get it stolen off you immediately as you leave. It’s like a really harsh tax system designed to keep the poor in their place (Peckham).
GamesMaster in Peckham isn’t on the mailing lists for getting up to date point-of-sale display materials, so they have to make their own out of paper and marker pens.
But it does have the internet! Recent surveys suggest that up to three percent of people who live in Peckham have got the internet, so this is great for the local community.
We are leaving Peckham and still have our digital camera! You stupid idiots! Don’t you know how much drugs you can swap a Sony DSC-W1 for?!
After being in Peckham, every day is a bonus. It’s like we have realised how joyous life can be when you’re not in Peckham and are starting afresh. Look! We took a photo of the sky just to celebrate being alive! Life not in Peckham is great! Oh, and they should bring back GamesMaster on TV.
filed in Uncategorized on Jul.27, 2005