UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
Life is worth living again! We're happy! It's like being back on the Prozac/Zoloft combination therapy! Every day brings a new Sony DISASTER, as PlayStation3 morphs into more of a joke by the second. 425 pounds! A remake of an old PS2 racer as its 'main game'! A rubbish controller copied off Nintendo! Blu-Ray no one wants! Executives who brand it "a bargain" and think it's above criticism and that we should be grateful it's launching a new PlayStation at all!

Every day we wake up invigorated, desperate to see the latest in PS3 comedy disintegration. We'll be triumphantly hoisting PlayStation's bleeding corpse into the air yet.

And then there are the games.

PS3 Tekken 6, circa May 2005

This, 12 months ago, was what Tekken 6 was going to look like.


PS3 Tekken 6, circa May 2006

This is what Tekken 6 looks like today. Next year, when it comes out, it'll look like a third-party Dreamcast game like all the rest of the piss-poor PS3 stuff shown at E3. Seeing this breathes life into our souls! Yeah, Sony, carry on begging those third-parties to pretend their multi-format games are exclusive to PS3 so your game line-up doesn't look like such a disaster. It won't make a difference.


Tekken 6 - GOTY

Still, women get punched in the stomach in it, so it's not that bad.

Labels:

Blogger Adept Harness said...
You forget that the real revolution is the cell processor, that will be generically used across all the household products of the future like etcha-sketch, solar calculators and microwaves you can operate with a dial.
Blogger psychospeed said...
I suggest people watch the demo video for this 40% finished game, the physics are amazing. There is sweat flying off thier bodys in the direction of each forceful blow. Your taking a look at a poor char model and screaming lie over an unfinished game. Oh and guess what? a recent poll says the uk's most wanted system is the ps3, why? simple because the games look as good if not better than 2nd gen 360 games and their not even half way finished!
Blogger James said...
OMG REAL SWEAT PHYSICS!! It's a revolution people!
Blogger SMEGHaMMeR said...
A recent poll i just made up say's the UK's mostly full of illiterate morons. I reckon there's probably more truth in that.

Troll me up motherfucker..
Blogger ScratOnThinIce said...
OMFG! psychospeed, are you that much of a deluded fanboy?
Blogger Squall20XX said...
I'm sick of all the PS3 bashing if you dont like it dont buy it. Simple as. For a gaming blog you dont seem to like anything to do with gaming.
Blogger Nemesis2K said...
I didn't believe this until I looked it up on google. Im definatly not buying a PS3 now, I mean it doesnt even have analogue controllers.
Blogger Tomleecee said...
It smacks of Dead or Alive 2 a bit dunnit? I thought the PS3 was meant to be all powerful?
Blogger Tomleecee said...
Actually, having looked at the trailer again, it reminds me more of GASP!! Fighter's Nextream on the N64. Oh dear...
Blogger X-Toad said...
Isn't Sega making a load of PS3 games?
It's the same crap the Xbox camp is pulling with Too Human. Check out the screenshots on IGN vs. gameplay footage from E3 and you're going to laugh your ass off.
Blogger cowsbrain said...
Stop taking everything so seriously, guy. You'd be fine if they were slagging off a console you didn't like. Breathe deeply, satire is a good thing.

I suppose it's a bit much to expect PS3 advocates to have a sense of humour left after E3.
Blogger SMEGHaMMeR said...
Lol, i love this site, it really brightens up my day.
Blogger Brutus said...
Why watch the PS3's sweaty men when you can watch 360's Fight Night?
Blogger bilal said...
SNES Mortal Kombat had sweat physics, too!

Megadrive version just had crappy blood, like that's a realistic portrayal of a fight to the death.

Sheesh
Blogger psychospeed said...
ahem, what im saying is look at how far its finished and how much they have done with it, graphics are sugar coating, what good game has focused on the graphics first and everything else second? none! Before you bash tekken 6 for its horrible dev modeling, look at the details. As for the poll look it up at qj.nets ps3 page oh wait i can do one better heres the source link: http://www.t3.co.uk/news/247/games/playstation_2/ps3_officially_most_wanted
amazing huh? No it just shows that not all of the uk is a bunch of illiterate morons that drool over sugar coated graphics like 360 junkies (I have one, shinny xbox graphics and sports with forever rainwashed sweat, i have more fun with my neo geo than it). As for scratonthinice i should slap some sense into your thick lil head, whats wrong with supporting a system? If someone sees somthing they like theyll get it regardless of what brand it is. And so far i like what ive seen from the ps3, mainly from what ive seen on play able demos. And Nemisis2k... google is full of more turds than your toilet after thanksgiving feast. Look it up on something credible.
Blogger psychospeed said...
ahem, what im saying is look at how far its finished and how much they have done with it, graphics are sugar coating, what good game has focused on the graphics first and everything else second? none! Before you bash tekken 6 for its horrible dev modeling, look at the details. As for the poll look it up at qj.nets ps3 page oh wait i can do one better heres the source link: http://www.t3.co.uk/news/247/games/playstation_2/ps3_officially_most_wanted
amazing huh? No it just shows that not all of the uk is a bunch of illiterate morons that drool over sugar coated graphics like 360 junkies (I have one, shinny xbox graphics and sports with forever rainwashed sweat, i have more fun with my neo geo than it). As for scratonthinice i should slap some sense into your thick lil head, whats wrong with supporting a system? If someone sees somthing they like theyll get it regardless of what brand it is. And so far i like what ive seen from the ps3, mainly from what ive seen on play able demos. And Nemisis2k... google is full of more turds than your toilet after thanksgiving feast. Look it up on something credible.
Blogger Dogmonkey said...
psychospeed, everyone!
Blogger cowsbrain said...
There's always going to be people with more money than sense. The same kind of people who believe what commercially fueled magazines (such as T3) recommend. Look at the amount of people who own iPods and continue to buy the latest model, every revision (this is coming from a die-hard Mac user).

What most people fail to realise is that there are two groups of people involved in the success of a console, the gamers and the developers. Now, there's no doubt that the PS3 will be a success with gamers but I don't know a single developer who enjoys developing for the PS3 because it's so bloody laborious (yes, I am a games developer).

P.S. "Illiterate morons"? Have you READ your posts, recently? (meow) =o)
Blogger system11 said...
At his E3 talk Phil Harrison claimed that imagination is the only limit now. I tried to imagine that psychospeed isn't an idiot. ANOTHER SONY LIE.
Blogger psychospeed said...
*slaps system11* lie? come now the stupid console isnt even out yet! this site is worse than the d*** witchhunts a few hundred years ago with sony. Give me one completed game that looks like crap for the ps3... ONE COMPLETED game. Oh wait, theres none completed yet. Why? BECAUSE THE SYSTEM ISNT OUT YET. So right now their are no lies and no truths, only speculation of unfinished products. So think about it like this all you little midevial twats. Ever work on a project that takes time? I looks like you took a shite on it half the time till your finished. A painting takes layers of paint, mixed and manipulated to look good. Oh and take a lookie at old 360 demo reels from 6 months before it was released, see how they compare.
Blogger DrunkMonk said...
I can see your point regarding unfinished demo's, but seeing as they have a whole heap of competition from Microsoft and (although they don't like to admit it) Nintendo, you would have thought that at E3 - the show where these companies are forced to show off side by side - Sony would have pulled their finger out their brownring and show off. They didn't impress, and it's still a bag of wank compared to anything else on offer.
Blogger Rag Rappy said...
It only looks rubbish because they decided to run the game at 240fps in 4D instead of the original 60fps in 3D.
Blogger SegaSonic said...
OMG SONY FANBOYS WHO HATE THIS PLACE YOU CAN TAKE MY COCK DEEP IN YER THROATS OMGZ

FUCK OFF


;) xxx
Blogger sssd said...
*swoosh*
Blogger ShutUpYourUglyFace said...
Have you guys played Under Defeat for the Dreamcast? That game is fucking awesome!
Blogger ShutUpYourUglyFace said...
Have you guys played Under Defeat for the Dreamcast? That game is fucking awesome!
Blogger bilal said...
hang on a sec, when the early 360 demos were out with their crap graphics, everyone was going "omg ps3 is teh roxxors"

now when we are cussing the ps3, SUDDENLY we're not allowed to cos the demos are unfinished?

psychospeed. mate, ps3's just doing this year what 360 did last year - showing dodgy in-game stuff - whereas last year it was all target renders (i.e. LIES).

as for supporting a system/company so fervently, there is something TERRIBLY wrong with it.

console manufacturers don't care about their fans, the people bigging up their stuff, they care about mag reviews in T3, and in the case of ninty, getting your grandma to kick your ass in super smash bros.

worst of all, is that this site is driven by sarcasm and satire, and the fact that you're taking it so seriously means you're just not getting it.

better stick to IGN if you're after some good old, offence-free 'news'.

IGN welcomes fan(boy)s with open arms. provided you're in the right section of course...
Blogger cornhuskman said...
I could not have said it any better, bilal. I miss the days when UK:R readers actually understood the score.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go take a dump in that outhouse...oh, that was the letters shed? Oops...
Blogger Toops said...
[quote="corkhuskman"]could not have said it any better, bilal. I miss the days when UK:R readers actually understood the score.[/quote]

Agreed. Indeed I miss the whole OSSM/EMAP satire thing actually. The difference is no better demonstrated than through the difference between Rich Leadbetter et al and the shitty Dean Mortlock :P
Blogger Evil Homer said...
psychospeed, as others have said, there are plenty of fanboi forums to vent your spleen on, fuck off there.

The point was what was promised a year go and what is being currently delivered a year later. As usual the promises are a big bucket of baby bollocks, but that shouldn't stop the fun of poking the liars!
Blogger Dumpster said...
This whole 'most eagerly awaited console in the UK' thing doesn't really work, does it? I mean, the 360 is already out, so all the PS3 is managing is to be more eagerly awaited than the Nintendo thing that keeps changing its name.

Ooooh... first out of two! Nurse! Defibrilator!
Blogger GiantEnemyCrab said...
It's Ridge Racer
Blogger Grumbler said...
Psychospeed, did you even look at the first screen?
Blogger Cheggers said...
This phychospeed is clearly a troll just ignore him.
Blogger monoculture said...
careful, he might get *double checks* midevial on our asses..


but not, i shouldn't mock, really
Blogger Cunzy11 said...
Hang on everybody we seem to have ignored the revolutionary development: there are no crappy day-glo pink or orange explosions used to hide the poor contact graphics.

ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A TEKKEN GAME?

I don't like it. Change is bad. What next? No barrels in FPS? A puzzle in an adventure game that doesn't require the use of levers or boxes?
Blogger cowsbrain said...
Cunzy11 is right. We should be more concerned about how games are changing. I mean, soon, there'll be no big fuck-off rats or spiders in RPGs!

I swear, if there are no sweaty rats, I might as well just kill myself now.
Blogger Dogmeat said...
Physics my arse. It'll still be Tekken and hence a load of shit.

So you'll be buying a PS3 on day one then Psychospeed? Proof; if any were needed; that a fool and his money are easily parted.
Blogger Fivos said...
This is the most anti-sony site I have ever seen!

"it'll look like a third-party Dreamcast game like all the rest of the piss-poor PS3 stuff shown at E3".

You must be joking! Whatever!
Blogger X-Toad said...
Cutlack's only bitter because Sony killed off his beloved Sega's console business.
Blogger beanie said...
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Blogger SchwangSchwing said...
Looks worse than DOA4 when it was 15% complete and running on a G5 and X850
Blogger Halverde said...
How come some people take this so seriously that they can find the time to construct barely coherent essays on why the PS3 is wonderful and all evidence to the contrary is a lie, yet we still haven't had anybody taking the punching women in the stomach thing seriously? Is punching women in the stomach socially acceptable now, or is it just that your average Sony fanboy is considerably more stupid than a teenage girl who's only just heard of Germaine Greer and is being quite vocal about it?

"u chauvinest pig this isent the midevial ages u cant punch girls"
Blogger V1L3 said...
"u chauvinest pig this isent the midevial ages u cant punch girls"

Are you kidding me? The 21st century is all about equality. If women want to be treated as equals, then it goes without saying that we're allowed, nay, ENCOURAGED to beat the ever loving snot out of them.

Yay for equality! *kicks the zimmer frame out from under the next elderly granny he sees, gut-punches her, steals her pension money and high-tails it to the nearest department store to preorder a PS3*
Blogger fujiwaratofuten said...
I never laughed so much at a forum in ages, reading these PS3 supportings getting really worked up over people who have always and will always hate SONY as its just a fun hobby. Also, do you SONY lovers actually realise what this site is all about?

Its like walking into a vodafone shop and complaining that they don't sell Orange phones!
Blogger GiantEnemyCrab said...
RIIIIDGE RACER!!1!11oneeleventyone!1
Blogger Cunzy11 said...
How come some people take this so seriously that they can find the time to construct barely coherent essays on why the PS3 is wonderful and all evidence to the contrary is a lie, yet we still haven't had anybody taking the they are actually making another Tekken game thing seriously? Is making Tekken games socially acceptable now, or is it just that your average Sony fanboy is considerably more stupid than a teenage girl who's only just heard of Germaine Greer and is being quite vocal about it?

"u chauvinest pig this isent the midevial ages u cant make fight game"
Blogger NK1 said...
lol, talk about missing the point. They are constantly showing off uber realistic screenshots with mad detail and telling us 'This is what the game will look like on the PS3' when in actual fact, they look pretty poor.

It's not the graphics we care about. It's the lies!
Blogger GiantEnemyCrab said...
NK1,

Well said sir! Spot On.

" o/\o " or something.
Blogger Mark said...
Happy now, Zorg? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
Blogger Etienne said...
Sony needs to fail this time around, let this round go to the Wii and the 360, like we need another bloated POS company that owns the next gen HD disc format...
Blogger VicTheKnife said...
Shows sony for tootin' their horns too early on this one.
I really have lost my faith in Sony, not only in the video game indsutry, but as well as their whole DRM miss-hap this year in the music industry.

Toodles sony.
Blogger cory said...
When you order a pizza at pizza hut from the menu, does it not look good? Well, they need to finish cooking the pizza before it looks like that, otherwise they just have all the uncooked ingredients that make it taste good.

This is like the game. They promised a good looking game (like the menu), and they are making the game (cooking the pizza), but it won't look good until its done cooking (the game is finished).

Think logically. They have to finish the game engine, create the levels, adjust the physics, etc. etc. etc.


Besides The graphics don't reflect the PS3 in any way. it is the game company making it, not sony.

The graphics for the wii suck, but everybody doiesn't go into a panic about that, eh?
Blogger psychospeed said...
oi... you know these arent out yet, the projected demos showed last year can still be reached, why? because its not out yet, the only thing about those reels from last year that they lied about is them being in real time. Stupid of them yes, and for you dum***** who think im getting on on day one, your f'ing retarded. Ill save up yes, but will i waste my money on crap if i dont see something good on launch day? no, so f' off and get a brain, Im excited about the promise that i see in the demos, not immediatly disapointed when i see unfinished products. I almost bought a 360 on day one till i played the demos on a pre released 360 at an EB store. Then i held off and now im glad i did... ill probably still hold off for another year till more games come out.
Blogger qos said...
What playstation website are all these comments coming from?
I have a PS3, and it's shit. So, there you go. no need to continue this arguement really. Cos i have one, and you dont.. and it's shit. Worse than shit. It has additional shit built in and the games i have are shit. So trust me and dont waste your money on a piece of shit.
Blogger schteddy said...
Ahh he's American. That explains it. We don't have EB over here any more, just GAME. Or Game. Can't remember.
Blogger Rag Rappy said...
"oi... you know these arent out yet, the projected demos showed last year can still be reached, why?"

No they can't. They weren't projected demos, they were professionally produced CGI made for marketing purposes.
Amazing article. I wrote a worse one of a similar vein about Virtua Fighter 5 just now, thought you might enjoy it.

http://www.destructoid.com/more-next-gen-lies-virtua-fighter-5
Blogger bilal said...
walking into a trap there with that dodgy pizza hut analogy:

using your example, last year's E3 target renders are like the blowtorched, glazed-to-shit fake pizza mock-ups they show in their menus and on the site.

it's like microwave dinners - the photos look sublime but the actual thing looks a bit crap doesn't it?

what you lot need to understand is that this is just a joke, ok. if we wanna twat about laughing at videos then that's up to us. your moaning about it just makes us laugh even more.

so really i shouldn't be attempting to explain to you. i should just keep quiet so i can laugh some more.

ROFLMAO
Blogger Jamma said...
that has to be among the greatest graphics I've ever seen !! I never thought I'd ever see graphics that are better then 64 bit Sony have really outdone themselves (OMG sarcasm)
Blogger moof said...
He could be Australian, we have EB here. In fact I'd say that's quite possible, Australia is pretty much the land of SONY fanboys :(
Blogger iwao said...
ok like the director of tekken said these pictures is not finish,but we trying to tell you we is already begun to make a plan about tekken 6,after we make tekken dr to the psp,so that is what makes these pictures look like that!so after they finish tekken to the psp,the graphics of tekken 6 will rock very much!
Blogger The Real Raven said...
what i dont understand is why namco or whoever make tekken would make the jin polygon model look so great in the renders then do that xbox 360 looking poly model in that reel where he punches the girl. i know a fair bit about poly modelling and rendering and my point is that i wonder if thats the finished jin model or if they will go back and remake him more like the render model. if so no bloody wonder games take so long! namco shudnt have released that demo untill they had the finished jin model to show. if that IS the finshed jin model, the ps3 can eat my balls!
Blogger wertyuiop said...
Cmdr_Zorg, the only lie here is yours.

First of all, implying that Sony is lying when in fact the footage in question was created by Namco is a blatant lie.

Second, neither Namco nor Sony made any statement about that footage being real time. Sony merely helped in announcing that this game and others shown in that section were in development. Any intelligent person (not you apparently) would have known the video was pre-rendered.

Oh and by the way, Microsoft's E3 press conference had as much pre rendered footage as Sony did last year so if you want to compare something, leave the CG examples alone. It means absolutely nothing.

A better example of how PS3 character's compare to what Sony promised is Fight Night Round 3. The amazing characters shown at e3 are now playable and they look much better than they do on xbox 360. From what I can see Sony made no lies at all because any tech demos they showed turned out true. Although one video that needs to be proven is the unreal tech demo, but I know that will be proven as well when unreal 2007 releases.

How can a company avoid silly remarks such as yours based on false speculation? You only write this for the satisfaction of winning some debate any way you can. If you want to influence everyone as you obviously do, you have to at least appear honest which you certainly don't.
Blogger arobba said...
The article is good but the comments on this one are fuckin brilliant

Just remember folks, the Brits are the only ones who understand sarcasm & irony properly

classic
Blogger Enough_Rope said...
Yeah, but still, women get punched in the stomach, so it's not that bad.
Blogger Tim said...
"Oh and guess what? a recent poll says the uk's most wanted system is the ps3, why? " - psychospeed


Lol, not the best logic ever..

Using cars as an example, I would imagine most of the UK would like a Ferrari or an Aston Martin. However it's fair to say far more are driving Mondeos, Focuses and Renault Clios because they do the same job for far less.

Cue "But it has BlueRay..." :rolleyes:
Blogger Carmen said...
For some reason I have a feeling more people want a Wii.
Blogger D Fresh said...
PS3 is popular because of marketing, not from any skill. The PS3 is like the Ford Mustang of the gaming world. Powerful, fast, and flashy on the outside, but under the hood, its a worthless peice fo crap. This is a PS2 reincarnated. Dismal launch and first gen titles accompanied by empty promises and false advertising. Remember Fantavision? Ugghh...

I expect some decent second gen games if a company comes along and finally figures out how to develop for it. For now, though, the game library is absolutely dreadful. Ive seen more interesting things come out of my ass...
Blogger Paul said...
Managed to get halfway throug this.

Psychospeed must have commited suicide by now no ? It would only be right.
Blogger caden said...
oh no, if tekken doesnt look pretty then all its got is piss poor AI and controls that mount up to smashing one hand on the d-pad and the other hand on all the other buttons.
Blogger Anekii said...
I have an erection.

Post a Comment