At least it’s nice that everything’s out in the open.
filed in "NEWS", ENEMIES on Apr.27, 2011
“All the passwords have to be random and unique. Otherwise it wouldn’t be secure.”
YOU’D BETTER BE MAKING A REGULAR HABIT OF THIS AGAIN, ZORG
It’s like we were never away!
I predict spiral updates within the week.
Please Zorg, never leave again.
All is right with the world, briefly.
The brighter days and longer evenings mean Zorg has come out of his winter dolor, but is perhaps too embarrassed after the outpouring of love and affection (from nearly 200 unique IPs!) to start the site up properly again, especially so soon. Plus he’s largely outgrown us. He loves phones now, like a fucking ‘normal’.
Despite not being affected by this PSN fuss (NEVER FORGET, NO SURRENDER, NEVER MOVE ON), I’m not ‘feeling’ the hilarity of the situation. It’s potentially very serious for a lot of people. As loathsome as the thought is, you may know or even be related to someone who owns a PS3. I’ve heard there are some Christian groups in America that can offer help. That was a joke about gayness.
And us strong willed, loyal, handsome, non-Playstation owners simply got lucky. It could hit XBox Live or Steam. Heaven forfend something like this happens to Amazon. Yeah, I said forfend.
We still love you, Zorg, everything is forgiven.
Now how about having some fun with the PSP go having been cancelled?
This is great – Zorg – you can keep riding this scooter for ages yet. Its kind of like a nerd soap opera – it just keeps getting worse for them, brilliant, you couldnt write this stuff!
YES, FUCKING YES! I am complete once again. Also that picture is soon to be on my wall!
Can someone turn this into a wallpaper?
Also, welcome back.
I’m still trying to come to terms with the utter irony of you closing up shop and this happening on the back of Sega announcing that sonic Generations game thing.
It’s like they’re fucking with you.
The flipping DC2 will be announced by next Wednesday at this rate!
Q.15 I want my money back (subscription fee, content) since the PSN/Qriocity was not available.
When the full services are restored and the length of the outage is known, we will assess the correct course of action.
You’re going to flashy thing me aren’t you Sony?
Dick, you’re so right about the passing of the winter dolor. This isn’t the first time you’ve penetrated my psyche, either.
Just checked back here on a whim. HOORAH! MORE POSTS!
Fuck, the sites back on. Have to try to think of amusing semi-ironic comments again that don’t involve saying cunt a lot.
Can we all take turns penetrating you Zorg? I mean, it’s the least we can do for you after the amount of times you’ve penetrated us.
Zorg. This really has made my week. Please don’t go again.
Glad to see Zorg back in action. Now please realise that us UKR fans are happy with the occasional awesome update and don’t need daily shit updates to keep us coming back!
The timing of all this coincides very conveniently with UK:R going into hiatus. Coincidence … or was all merely ruse to encourage Sony to let their down?
As we are back, might as well do an update on Sonic Generations.
Just seen extended gameplay video for it on NotUKResistance and am slightly giddy with excitement (and I’m not exaggerating in a sycophantic way because of the target audience, although I probably wouldn’t admit to being excited about it to normal people).
Whats this? New posts? I knew there was a reason I didn’t delete this place from my Monday blog/comic tab…. well actually it’s probably because it usually takes half a year of dormancy before I can be bothered to edit my bookmarks.
But still… Yay!
Though… not so yay for the people who are going to have to check all their CC records and go through the pita that is getting charges fixed and CC’s changed. That sucks!
RockinKat: I’d say it’s “karma” for selling out and getting a PS3 and would be all smug and gloaty, but they have now announced – in an apparently separate incident – that Sony Online Entertainment have been taken as well (all their MMO’s – Everquest, Star Wars Galaxies, PlanetSide, including the websites and forums are off line right now) – not that I’ve played any of those in over a year (more like 4+ years).
Keep on posting Zorg. I’m loving it. :P
Please don’t go away again, Zorg.
Here’s more to gloatwank over – http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-13256817
Zorg, more shit has happened! MAKE A POST ABOUT IT
Well, fuck. :(
Goodbye, Zorg. Again…
Fangs for the memories….again.
I remember the first time I visited UK:R, it wa… wait, didn’t I just do this?
Must have been cloudy in Scotland.
I’m not leaving until the police arrive.
I’m not going anywhere you cunt
Cheers for the laughs, Zorg.
I’m off for a Chilli Dog. See you all never!
And goodbye to all the commenters too! Whether or not you liked me or not, you still gave me some lulz and in this crazy, crazy world lulz go a long way.
This time I’m really going.
Rubbish website writes eulogy for even worse website:
Rich could have made sure all the links worked.
These last two posts have been like the Dreamcast – one daring last throw of the dice, shining brilliantly before burning out against a tide of stale shit flowing from Sony Corp.
Come on, Zorg, give us a write-up on the history of UK:R. How it started, why it started, why it ended, why during its best period most updates had no comments on them. Stuff such as those stuff.
We want to know how you transformed your life from Cornish horse-cock washer to reclusive millionaire homopop-loving, tech-retard.
If you don’t, no one will ever know. It deserves to be documented now that it’s ‘over over’ and not just ‘over’ over. UK:Resistance – An agonising romp through personal crises under the guise of video games journalism, by Commander Michael Zorg.
Just disabling the comments on the last ever post isn’t going to stop us, you know.
“The future for me and UK:Resistance, post-UK-blog-apocalypse? I’ll probably carry on updating it for free, for ever”
Having consulted some top lawyers I’m pretty sure that that’s legally binding.
It seems drawing a line over it did work, Trilby. :(
There’s always http://www.notukresistance.co.uk, which is continuing the legacy quite impressively. I’m sure it will continue to develop into its own thing, already has stuff UK:R didn’t (like regular updates and enthusiasm).
Where else are you going to see a Virtua Tennis 4 purchasing pictorial?
I’m still going too, shouting into the void like a meths-addled tramp – http://gamingtheory.wordpress.com/
And I would like to add my support for NotUKResistance, which is shaping up to be most excellent on its own merits.
SEGA BLEW UP THE TWIN TOWERS
I thought that was done by Gandalf and those hobbits, Frodo and Alex the Kidd.
#This is the end
My only friend, the end#
/sobs and wanks
Commander, at least 150 people do as the unique page views jumped by 50 each day for 3 days on notukresistance after you posted the link.
I still here, it’s not worse then any other places updated daily
I didn’t even know about the Delicious bookmark page. I thought once the links went off the site they had disappeared into history. But then I only worked out what Winamp playlists were 2 weeks ago after using Winamp for 10 years.
Oooh, what’s Winamp? I’m still using WinPlay3.
It’s probably something to do with these compact discs I’ve been hearing all about lately.
Is After Burner II with Night Trap? WatchutalkingaboutWillis?
Wii 2 announced:
Groundbreaking stuff as ever.
Commmpact disk? Is that a new type of floppy?
Sort of but it’s much better. There’s no size limitations and they can even run full motion video games (or FMV). It’s like you’re playing an interactive movie!
Wow, that sounds unbelievable! I wonder if SEGA will make like an interactive movie game where you protect scantily-clad girls from vampires while they’re having a slumber party?
They already did, but you only got to play as the vampires. It was called INXS: Make My Video.
Just me, floppy and the crickets.
Those aren’t crickets, that’s the dying applause of people who have been clapping for nearly 40 days.
Clapping? Oh, yes. Clapping.
Certainly nothing to do with excitement/joy at Sony continuing to balls things up, oh no.
I think most of the ‘regulars’ are chucking salt about now.
Well, my hands are starting to blister now and the skin is peeling back in places.
Terr…I mean Lulzsec is keeping me full of lulz while they sail through the channels on Sony’s database.
Clapping is good, the clap not so much.
Also, my legs hurt and I’m starting to feel faint. I think it’s time to wind down the standing ovation everyone.
Sonic and some fat foreign cunt in perverse suicide pact atop Big Ben:
As the Dust Settles Forever.
What Could Have Been.
Many years have passed since my campus days. In the halcyon days of university before New Labour and Neo Conservatism stuffed it all up, some staff from PowerVR came to my university to speak to the newly graduated.
A presentation was given on the company, followed by drinks, nibbles and chatting.
They were, at the time, incredibly proud of their work on the graphics processor in the Dreamcast. They had even brought one with them and a plasma screen to demo it on. We all took turns at playing Soul Calibur.
We spent an awful lot of time admiring the intro animation.
By this point the PS2 was in full world-conquering flight and it was clear that the Dreamcast’s days were numbered, although we’d all enjoyed them like we would no others.
The designers present mourned the early passing of their greatest triumph.
One Memory Clings.
An engineer laments that their Sega counterparts ignored their pleas to include a DVD drive instead of the proprietary GD-ROM format.
Insisted, Pleaded, Begged and Cajoled.
Ignored, they consoled themselves with a job well done and watched their baby get steamrollered. In their minds there was no doubt. DVD had been the future and Sega had ignored it and how the opposition were riding that mass adoption wave to the history books. What could have been if Sega had listened? We can but Dream.
So my days on campus ended, markets and towers crashed, the sun set on Sega and the Blue Skies faded away.
This is how it always ends?
Ladies and Gentleman, I give you:
What Should Have Been.
Happy 20th Birthday Sonic!
Shame your new game’s not very good again, but you can’t have everything.
I’m pretty sure he died aged 16 in 2006, after the mother of all stuck-on-the-scenery incidents.
The emergency services said he was wedged between that tree and the loop for 14 days, before they found his body. He’d eaten the leather uppers of his shoes but died of dehydration on around day 11.
The Sonic SEGA is flogging today is just a good cosplayer.
I heard he broke through a scenery gap in the 3D section of Sonic Jam and just kept running. But I’ve also heard a version of the above story where his dried husk was extracted and is actually being worn by the current cosplayer.
Top Tip: Google’s new reverse image search.
I feel like I have committed a mild sex crime by looking at that.
A fitting summation of my feelings perusing UK:R over the years if ever I heard one Commander.
I don’t even know what Reddit is. Seems like all the cool kids and all the uncool kids are using it.
3 people on Reddit dislike BitBroken
Anyone care to redress that for me? The page views from B3ta are dropping fast…
I miss UK:R, I miss it hard.
Me too. Still visit almost every day. Just in case…
I also really wanted to share this with somebody:
“Priklopil appeared to have relied exclusively on a Commodore 64 as his computer, which is complicating the recovery of evidence due to its obsolescence in modern times.”
I only just got my C64 emulator working and downloaded a copy of Caverns of Sillahc. It’s a game I played once in the school library back in 1986 on a borrowed computer. I had been looking for it for years but in my memory I had thought I was playing an Apple II, (because that’s all my school had at the time). All I could remember was that you could fly in all directions, it was in a cave, and their were some enemies that looked like light bulbs (turned out to be radar dishes). Everyone kept suggesting H.E.R.O.
Then today I found an issue of Zzap64 online and they gave Caverns of Sillahc 60% for Value for Money, 21% for Originality (because apparently it rips off Fort Apocalypse), and 49% for Hookability.
I don’t know about that… a game I played once – 25 years ago, then later spent 10 years trying to track it down… I’d say that the hookability was more like 85%.
It’s as if they’re trying to force Zorg into posting again
I really need to know what people really think about Sonic Generations. Tell us ZORG!!!
I don’t have a working games console any more. If you need to know about the first six levels of Angry Birds, though, I might be able to help.
Who need a working games console to judge a videogame?
No Christmas update. I’m starting to think this close down thing might be real.
Happy new year to UK:R!
Long may she un-reign.
I think UK RESISTANCE is going to have a PS4 SPECIAL!
I mean it seems that Sony have invented a 2 year old gaming PC. LOL. What could go wrong!
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1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
9. An interview with THE Richard Jacques!
10. Lumines fan fiction
THIS IS HOW IT ALWAYS ENDS