WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU JUST WATCH THE FLAG MAN?
That's the sort of question that pops up when playing Sega games, where every pixel counts. And guess what? Even the flag man in OutRun2 is great. See him dance and stretch for you. It's like he's still capable of being happy and carefree and is the only person whose life isn't touched by a constant and unbearable sadness.
And away we go! Surely the flag man has outlived his purpose, and will simply stand there as the racers fly off into the distance?
But no! This is Sega! The flag man starts exercising for the benefit of people like us who want to examine every pixel of all Sega games.
Now he starts hopping on his right foot! Can it get better than this?
YES! He's hopping on his LEFT FOOT!
Now he's stretching down to his right. We're not being sarcastic, by the way, we genuinley find this entertaining, amusing and are pleased that this happens. It's these sweet little touches that made Sega great in the first place and we're so happy that even in these miserable, mainstream gaming times, Sega can still get things like this past the focus group. If our hearts were still capable of displaying joy we'd be weeping with happiness.
Now he sort of bends forward...
...then embarks upon a series of star jumps. The flag man STAR JUMPS! How could that prick from The Sunday Times (Daniel Emery -- find him and kill him) only give this game 1/5 when the fucking flag man does fucking star jumps? How much more does a game have to give?
Now, get this -- he MOONWALKS off the screen!
Right off the screen!
Then he moonwalks back into view...
...and ends with a triumphant spin. We imagine he's grabbing his groin. We certainly are. Triple A.
Posted by Cmdr_Zorg 9/27/2004 09:02:00 PM
1 Comments:
He should lift his shirt, to reveal a six-pack. That'd get the girls playing!
Then again... get rid of the much loved fat guy, and put Peter Andre instead. Obviously... with a way to run the silicone loving monkey boy down.
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