Denying the SEGA holocaust since 1996

[UK:RESISTANCE]

[IDIOT TOYS]

HIGHLIGHTS
Oh, how we laughed! Maybe once or twice.

PSP Lie Watch - GT4 Mobile

Sega Park carpet!!

SEGA World Sydney 2

SEGA World, Sydney

SEGA's 1950s sexism

Being horrible about girls

Being nice about girls

*AMAZING* reader Cream porn

SEGA fruit machines

PS3 Lie Watch - Tekken 6

E3 2006 photos

PS3 Lie Watch - The PS3

How is Andy Crane?

Dreamcast bicycle!

The 'SEGA Rap'

OutRun2006 - a celebratory review

PS3 Lie Watch: Motorstorm

OutRun2 Coast2Coast screenshot guide

SEGA's sexy 1990s adverts

SEGA Homestar -- reviewed!

Sega Rally 2006 SHOULD NOT EXIST

Mobile Monkey Ball

Trying to buy an Xbox 360

Microsoft's 'urban youth' Xbox 360 movie

Xbox 360 launch party pics

Origen Zero Hour gonzo report

DoA movie trailer

An actual proper review of Ninja Gaiden Black

Afterburner Climax

Non-sexy PSP porn UMD reviewed

Blog does story about blog doing story (and repeat)

San Andreas class action... thing

More HOT LARA CROFT PORN!

Eminem is in the 50 Cent game :(

HUGE Nintendo DS design flaw discovered

Rolf Harris meets Sonic The Hedgehog

X360 mag reviewed

Nintendogs 'fake dog' photo shame

Joanna Dark's FHM airbrush shame

PSP 2.0 downgrade (a joke)

Miyamoto and puppies

Tokyo Game Show 2005

UK Frag Dolls REVIEWED by sexiness!

THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME

German PSP promo photos

Monkey Ball Sex SHAME

Sonic Team's new project!

New Xbox 360 magazine is 'rubbish'

Tomb Raider Legend PORN SICKNESS

Lan Party photos!!!

Everquest II models' 'pornstar' shame

UKR gaming clan launched!

Project Rub 2 pictures!

LCD and plasma HDTV guide for PS3 and Xbox 360

PSP Lumines 'fan fiction'

PSP Lumines 'sort of review'

GamesMaster visit!

Sega's Homestar

PS3 launch games confirmed!

Xbox 360 launch games revealed!

Trip Hawkins and his Atkins Diet thing

PHOTOS OF RICHARD JACQUES!!!

Great Jobs For Paedophiles

Ulala cosplay

Nokia N-Gage tester "hell"

World of Warcraft "girls"?

San Andreas "Hot Coffee" sex game mod

Stupid woman jealous of Lara Croft

Battle Raper 2 pics

E3 wheelchair groper

Gizmondo E3 booth babes

Sonic CD Superlovers

Fat kid "1337 h4x0r"

PS3 + Killzone 2 LIE WATCH!

Frag Dolls -- Reviewed!

Spurned employee RAMPAGE!

Visiting the Gizmondo shop

Seeing Playboy's Natalie Denning

EA Cricket 2005 'hilarity'

Xbox 360 photos?

"New Games Journalism" anti-manifesto

UKR -- The Mansion

A great Paris Hilton joke

GTA San Andreas Tetris

FIFA Street MP3

PSP battery jokes

Need for Speed Underground 2 HUMILIATION

Richard Jacques update

Kasumi's feet!

Kasumi's panties!

OutRun2, Doom 3 and Fable guide

50 reasons to buy OutRun2

OutRun2 'flag man'

What women drivers really say

Tron loser

PS2 EyeToy OutRun2

DoA Beach Volleyball wallpapers

A day trip to Sega!

GAMESMASTER RETURNS!

In shop form!



This is GamesMaster, a games shop located in war-torn Peckham, South London. We thought you might like to see GamesMaster and read a bit about Peckham, especially if you're from America or a posher part of London (that's all the rest of it) and have never been there.


NOTE TO FOREIGN READERS:
This is of interest to UK people because back in the early-to-mid-1990s there was a TV show about games on TV called "GamesMaster" that was really good, despite it never featuring enough Sega games in its challenges.



Peckham is a part of London people pretend doesn't exist. It's like a lump you find on your body, then ignore and hope it goes away on its own. The residents are scared to go outside, but at least they all have satellite TV for something to do!




Peckham is easily the shittest place in the whole world, including places like Afghanistan and Somalia.




Every time we walk through Peckham we expect to get offered drugs, murdered for drugs, searched for drugs or ground up into powder and used as drugs.




There's an arcade in Peckham, but we were too scared to go in it as we had our digital camera with us. Knowing Peckham, we didn't miss much. It probably hasn't even got Daytona USA in!




If you have shoes that cost more than ten pounds in Peckham you are considered to be a KING.




This is where people from Peckham buy their clothes. You can get a pair of work trousers for around 50p in Primark, apparently, and you get flu and nits for free!




This is Peckham's idea of a shopping centre. Walking into it feels like being a homosexual and walking into a bar in Texas with a pink t-shirt on. Even in the North of England, like Watford or Hemel Hempstead they have nicer shopping centres than this.




Here, in the sphincter of the sphincter of London, there lies a shop called GamesMaster. We didn't ask if it is officially licensed from the Channel 4 show or Future Publishing magazine of the same name, we just assumed it is not.




The chances of anyone from Channel 4 or GamesMaster production company Hewland or mag publisher Future ever venturing into Peckham are pretty fucking remote, so we guess they're safe from getting sued.




Apart from now.




There's not many people buying things in GamesMaster in Peckham. That's because if you buy anything in Peckham you get it stolen off you immediately as you leave. It's like a really harsh tax system designed to keep the poor in their place (Peckham).




GamesMaster in Peckham isn't on the mailing lists for getting up to date point-of-sale display materials, so they have to make their own out of paper and marker pens.




But it does have the internet! Recent surveys suggest that up to three percent of people who live in Peckham have got the internet, so this is great for the local community.




We are leaving Peckham and still have our digital camera! You stupid idiots! Don't you know how much drugs you can swap a Sony DSC-W1 for?!




After being in Peckham, every day is a bonus. It's like we have realised how joyous life can be when you're not in Peckham and are starting afresh. Look! We took a photo of the sky just to celebrate being alive! Life not in Peckham is great! Oh, and they should bring back GamesMaster on TV.

6 Comments:

Blogger Tomleecee said...

was dexter fletcher working behind the counter?

12:24 PM  
Blogger ezageza said...

Peckham is like a butlins holiday camp compared with Croydon. Croydon is just like a summer holiday at Auschwitz in Germany 1941!!

4:17 PM  
Blogger thomas said...

Did you see the TIT in his three-wheeling van?

9:42 AM  
Blogger Rome Hotels said...

Thank you for this beautiful tour of Peckham! Sure there is no twating around in Peckham and it is a great place to be, not as boring and tasteless as the rest of London!

12:53 PM  
Blogger Green said...

Obviously, you're not only an arrogant twit, but a posh one to boot. I'm from Camberwell, adjacent to Peckham, and went secondary school in Peckham. guess who's still alive. Oh, guess who has shoes a lot more than a tenner. guess who doesn't take drugs or smoke, or binge drink, is'nt a gang banger, and knows a hell of a lot more about life than you.

That's right, ME! Not only that but I'm not a blithering idiot! believe it or not I'm actually going to a college, and soon to go to a uni, as are most of the people who went to my school.

You're just an arrogant, bigoted, egotistical, know-nothing tit. I wish one of the actual muggers, who fyi only roam the back streets - and even that tends to be late at night - had actualy killed you. It's a misfortune for the world that you're walking carcass of prejudice is still taking up space

2:26 AM  
Blogger Matt said...

touchy

1:51 PM  

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