Denying the SEGA holocaust since 1996

[UK:RESISTANCE]

[IDIOT TOYS]

HIGHLIGHTS
Oh, how we laughed! Maybe once or twice.

PSP Lie Watch - GT4 Mobile

Sega Park carpet!!

SEGA World Sydney 2

SEGA World, Sydney

SEGA's 1950s sexism

Being horrible about girls

Being nice about girls

*AMAZING* reader Cream porn

SEGA fruit machines

PS3 Lie Watch - Tekken 6

E3 2006 photos

PS3 Lie Watch - The PS3

How is Andy Crane?

Dreamcast bicycle!

The 'SEGA Rap'

OutRun2006 - a celebratory review

PS3 Lie Watch: Motorstorm

OutRun2 Coast2Coast screenshot guide

SEGA's sexy 1990s adverts

SEGA Homestar -- reviewed!

Sega Rally 2006 SHOULD NOT EXIST

Mobile Monkey Ball

Trying to buy an Xbox 360

Microsoft's 'urban youth' Xbox 360 movie

Xbox 360 launch party pics

Origen Zero Hour gonzo report

DoA movie trailer

An actual proper review of Ninja Gaiden Black

Afterburner Climax

Non-sexy PSP porn UMD reviewed

Blog does story about blog doing story (and repeat)

San Andreas class action... thing

More HOT LARA CROFT PORN!

Eminem is in the 50 Cent game :(

HUGE Nintendo DS design flaw discovered

Rolf Harris meets Sonic The Hedgehog

X360 mag reviewed

Nintendogs 'fake dog' photo shame

Joanna Dark's FHM airbrush shame

PSP 2.0 downgrade (a joke)

Miyamoto and puppies

Tokyo Game Show 2005

UK Frag Dolls REVIEWED by sexiness!

THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME

German PSP promo photos

Monkey Ball Sex SHAME

Sonic Team's new project!

New Xbox 360 magazine is 'rubbish'

Tomb Raider Legend PORN SICKNESS

Lan Party photos!!!

Everquest II models' 'pornstar' shame

UKR gaming clan launched!

Project Rub 2 pictures!

LCD and plasma HDTV guide for PS3 and Xbox 360

PSP Lumines 'fan fiction'

PSP Lumines 'sort of review'

GamesMaster visit!

Sega's Homestar

PS3 launch games confirmed!

Xbox 360 launch games revealed!

Trip Hawkins and his Atkins Diet thing

PHOTOS OF RICHARD JACQUES!!!

Great Jobs For Paedophiles

Ulala cosplay

Nokia N-Gage tester "hell"

World of Warcraft "girls"?

San Andreas "Hot Coffee" sex game mod

Stupid woman jealous of Lara Croft

Battle Raper 2 pics

E3 wheelchair groper

Gizmondo E3 booth babes

Sonic CD Superlovers

Fat kid "1337 h4x0r"

PS3 + Killzone 2 LIE WATCH!

Frag Dolls -- Reviewed!

Spurned employee RAMPAGE!

Visiting the Gizmondo shop

Seeing Playboy's Natalie Denning

EA Cricket 2005 'hilarity'

Xbox 360 photos?

"New Games Journalism" anti-manifesto

UKR -- The Mansion

A great Paris Hilton joke

GTA San Andreas Tetris

FIFA Street MP3

PSP battery jokes

Need for Speed Underground 2 HUMILIATION

Richard Jacques update

Kasumi's feet!

Kasumi's panties!

OutRun2, Doom 3 and Fable guide

50 reasons to buy OutRun2

OutRun2 'flag man'

What women drivers really say

Tron loser

PS2 EyeToy OutRun2

DoA Beach Volleyball wallpapers

A day trip to Sega!

SEGA'S HOMESTAR PLANETARIUM -- REVIEWED!

We bought one of the Sega Toys Homestar Home Planetariums with the help of (a) lots of money and (b) someone who went to Japan for Christmas. It's a plastic globe that makes the stars appear on your ceiling.

Suddenly, lying on the floor in the dark is a hobby rather than a cry for help.

'Homestaaaaaar'! (like 'Segaaaaaahhh')

Here's where it says "Sega" on the box! And it's the right kind of blue. It's the wrong font but still a NEW ELECTRICAL SEGA THING!


Could pass it off as a Nintendo Revolution mock-up to some idiot blog

This is the Sega Homestar. We got the silver one, by chance. It has buttons on it, a sort of disc tray in the front and looks quite cool -- if a little cheaply manufactured (the buttons are a bit 'Pay As You Go').


Yeah, we flipped her over and took photos

Here's another place it says "Sega" on it! This proves we were not stupid to blow 150 quid on getting this relatively small and flimsy piece of plastic sent back to us from Japan.

(OK, so it's actually saying "Sega Toys", but that's close enough when IT'S ALL YOU'VE GOT LEFT TO CLING TO.)


DEEP PENETRATION

The disc tray comes right out so you can look inside at the mechanism. It's a little motor and small plastic wheel. This must be really easy to develop for!


It's boxed away now, safely

We also got a 'Handy Homestar'. We have absolutely no idea how this works. Also the battery on it was flat. Still, it looks like a cool little thing AND it's by Sega so we're very glad we got it.


For a while we thought it had a CD drive inside it :(

It comes with little boxes of discs. The discs contains the stars.


ARTY PHOTO ALERT

It doesn't take CDs. Or GD-ROMs. Or DVDs. The discs are little transparent plastic discs with a map of the stars printed on them.


NOW LOADING: DAYTONA USA 3

This is us putting a disc into a Sega machine! Just like in the old days. Just think, that could be a game disc we're putting into a new Sega console!


We used our Dreamcast step-down. It was an emotional moment

TURNING IT ON! It lights up and everything. This is great news. It really works and we haven't wasted lots of money (not that buying Sega things is ever a waste of money!)


It looks best in the dark. Like us

These buttons alter the speed and rotation of the stars.


Please don't email in translations

Some buttons remain a mystery to this very day!


:(

When you look inside it it's FULL OF STARS! Just like Dreamcast was. At least, that's how we remember it.


Rotating this turned initial disappointment into happiness

This flimsy circular insert adjusts the focus of the beam. When beaming from a normal height bedside cabinet to a regular ceiling, it covers an area approximately 12-14 feet across with an image of a starry galaxy.


INANIMATE OBJECTS: #3 in a series of 9

If were were putting our photos on Flickr this'd be the one we'd use. It's the artiest one. Look, that thing on the left is a bit blurry. We even let ourselves go mad and hold the camera at an angle. If you work for a magazine like Stuff or T3 you should probably "get us in" to do product photography!


The last thing you'll see before you die, bitch!

And this is what you get on your ceiling. This is our bedroom ceiling, ladies! It's quite a good effect as long as the room is very dark. The stars are a little blurred around the edges, but that makes it all the more interesting to look at. When the stars slowly rotate it's quite mesmerising and nice, especially when the horse tranquilisers are kicking in.


BUT WAS IT WORTH 150 QUID?
Not really. But it's cooler than a lava lamp and relaxing to look at when you go to bed all angry and full of rage. We're thinking of organising an event where we demonstrate the Homestar in a public environment. If you'd like to come along, email us. If lots of people express an interest in lying on the floor in a dark room looking at the stars, we'll book somewhere.

21 Comments:

Blogger cokeandcoffee said...

I'll come! will you be supplying the horse tranquilisers?

11:45 AM  
Blogger Mr Williams said...

i'd like some ketamine too please

12:22 PM  
Blogger John Hartnup said...

It's got "SS" written on the front, which is the initials of the Saturn!

12:43 PM  
Blogger Matt Category said...

I'm well up for coming to an event like that!

And if someone does bring ketamine, we won't even need the Homestar!

12:56 PM  
Blogger S Club 1 said...

Does it have a Death Star mode, and are your dreams (despite the tranquilisers) in some way tortured by dark visions of Shadow the Hedgehog?

1:10 PM  
Blogger fujiwaratofuten said...

hmmm bit expensive considering that in the room that I lived in whilst I was in Japan, the previous tenant had stuck cheap fluorescent stars and a crescent moon onto the ceiling, thus giving a similar effect as your sega machine.

I found it quite soothing after getting used to their presence everynight.

2:53 PM  
Blogger accelaexp said...

hey zorg, please post the link to the auction here when you'll try to sell it on ebay ! just to know who will be the next to be fooled by this crap ! hahaha

ps: if you hide some of your horse thing in the shipping box, i may buy it.

3:56 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

£150? I just press on my eyes until the stars fly by.

5:48 PM  
Blogger gnome said...

Wow. Quite innovative in an 80s sense. Stars. Projected. On Ceiling.

What's next?

6:30 PM  
Blogger aporkalypse said...

Looks alright but way too fucking expensive. Have you tried making your own discs yet?

7:35 PM  
Blogger Tomleecee said...

The fact that someone at UK Resistance drinks herbal tea has shattered the illusion that it was the coolest site on the web.

7:56 PM  
Blogger JT said...

I think some people are forgetting something...

This thing is MADE by SEGA.

Actually MADE by them, and it's a GADGET, which is nearly the same as a CONSOLE, and it PROJECTS STARS!

ACTUAL STARS! THE STARS! WOW!

11:08 PM  
Blogger Zarak said...

Silence, you cynics! omfg, you don't know how long I've wanted a home planetarium. I am absolutely not being sarcastic. This is genius. If I could get one here for a reasonable price I would so totally be getting one right now instead of posting this comment.

12:22 AM  
Blogger JT said...

*CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP*

1:10 PM  
Blogger Wratty said...

"The fact that someone at UK Resistance drinks herbal tea has shattered the illusion that it was the coolest site on the web."

Go fuck a bottle of jack daniels.

Herbal tea is the best thing since Carmen Electra. Zorg count me in for this gathering thing, I just want to see what your house is like.

2:39 PM  
Blogger doktorschadenfreude said...

Couldn't we all just lie on the floor in a dark field and watch the stars in the sky?

Whilst singing the Sega jingle and Nintendogging, of course.

12:52 PM  
Blogger Matt Category said...

I was examining the "herbal tea", and I noticed the DS charging on the floor. Looks like someones already done a bit of nintendogging (and whilst under the influence. 2 cups!)

9:40 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

Christ, if i wasn't trying to *budget* this year....

http://snipurl.com/lufp

10:36 AM  
Blogger Captain Cowboy said...

What's with the 'SS' on the front? Is this an old piece of Nazi memorabilia? If so, hoorah!

11:54 PM  
Blogger Segauseyoursuperpowers!!putyourmonopolyseekingback said...

There is something strange about this...I am now 100% sure that there are ancient symbols and hyroglyphs hidden in the sega homestars output!!!...unfortunatly ,it also seems it was created using a form of inteligence so advanced that no one will ever understand any of it!

11:06 PM  
Blogger Reihn said...

Oh and this is definitely probably the post I cherish most on UK:R. It captures all that I love about the site - rose coloured nostalgia, masterful humour and crushing pain and hate..

It could only be bettered if Zorg put up the “Desktop art made from a photo of MacOSX ‘Dog Vaginae’ desktop art” material I sent a few months back.

Also, has anyone got spare Ketamine?

3:28 PM  

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UKR t-shirts are cheap on more than one level:

RIP PS3!

Red, like your eyes/cock

Blue, like Sonic!

Our favourite

RECENTLY...
As well as SELLING OUT we've done this:

BS!

THE ANIMAL CROSSING MEMORIAL UPDATE
We lost the DS and game. This is all that remains of Big City :(

Animal Crossing WW: Game of 2006

MORE HIGHLIGHTS
Because we're that good and incredibly prolific.

Photos of SEGA things in Japan

Amazing Sonic desktop images

PSP Lie blog goes wrong

Afterburner Climax movies and review

Wii - is for women

Wii - is for women X2

A SEGA doormat in Japan!

2006 video game BAFTAs

'Virtually Addicted' TV games-are-evil report

68 photos of booth babes from TGS

Sonic on Coronation Street

Sonic fruit machine

THE LAST YEAR OR SO
Stuff doesn't disappear when it scrolls off the bottom. It gets saved here in monthly chunks:

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Everything

VERY OLD THINGS
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[2002-2004]

SITES WE DO/DID
[Nintendogging]
[Idiot Toys]
[My Animal Crossing]

SITES WE LIKE
[Spong]
[Eurogamer]
[Kikizo]
[Kotaku]
[Idle Thumbs]
[Insert Credit]
[Wonderland]
[Bizarre Creations]
[Play.d]
[Mr Biffo]

SITES THAT PROBABLY CONSIDER THEMSELVES 'COMPETITION' OF SOME SORT
[Rubbish Pixels]
[PEOWW]

NEW SITES WE LIKE
[One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate]
[Gibbage]
[Affectionate Diary]

THE TRIFORCE
[The Triforce]

KEITH, ALEKS AND GREG
[Guardian Games Blog]

RICHARD NOW LIKES MUSIC MORE THAN GAMES :(
[Rock Hack]

ALAN *REALLY LIKES* CARS
[Veni Vidi Vici]

GRAEME'S SOLO PROJECT
[AceyBongos]

SITES WE HATE *SO MUCH* THEY DON'T EVEN DESERVE THE DIGNITY OF A FUNCTIONING LINK
[Penny Arcade]
[Game Girl Advance]
[Total Video Games]
[Gillen]
[B3TA]
[NTSC-UK]

SITES THAT ASKED NICELY FOR A LINK
[Skullkids]
[Be "Teh" Hero]
[GHZ]
[SEGA Memories]
[Bruce on Games]
[Virtual Console Archive]
[I told you I wasn't dead]
[Sigmatronics]
[Games Asylum]
[Fuck Right Off]
[Retro Thinking]
[Britxbox]
[SEGA Nerds]
[Wii-UK]
[Angry Gamer]
[Dark Revolutions]
[Lemmy + Binky]
[Genki Video Games]
[Open Senses]
[Console Mad]
[Persian Gamers]
[CVG Archive]
[Disposable Media]
[NOOOZ]
[Mean Machines Archive]

NON-GAMING SITES WE READ BECAUSE WE'RE SO ACHINGLY *LIFESTYLE* AND IN TOUCH WITH YOUTH CULTURE
[Photoshop Disasters]
[Aerial Telly]
[Uncle Jen]
[Snackspot]
[Usemycomp.]
[Cybercandy]
[Popjustice]
[Goldenfiddle]
[Rich Herring]

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A 'MYSPACE' WHICH SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN HACKED
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SHINY MEDIA:
UKR has joined the Shiny Media blog-o-world. Play nicely with the following Shiny blogs:

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Stuff about games, phones and big TVs. [Xboxer]
[WiiWii]
[PSPSPS]
[Tech Digest]
[Tech Reviews]
[Techscape]
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[HDTV UK]
[iPhonic]
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[Scrumbag]
[The Googly]
[Who ate all the Pies]

FOR GIRLS:
Stuff about bags and shoes and pink things. [Bridalwave]
[Catwalk Queen]
[Kiss and Makeup]
[Nollie]
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