SEGA’S “HI-TECH LAND” HAS CLOSED :(
On the positive side, a man found the most INCREDIBLY GAY Sonic-branded leather jacket imaginable. If you were Mark Owen, in the year 1995, you might’ve been able to get away with wearing this in a Take That video.
“Hello again. I was the guy who made that Sega Arcade in Tokyo update. I have more hot Sega action, even though I’m back in the States.”
“This jacket had been on the rack at a store in Harajuku for about three months when I went there in August. I’m pretty sure it’s still there. I’m not going to apologize for not buying it, but keep in mind I weigh 50 kilos and look how badly it fits me. Also, I’m not going to apologize for the pictures being blurry because I didn’t take them. I’m sure you can still buy it (it’s one of a kind I’m sure) and say it’s for your girlfriend.”
“I also went back to the arcade from the original update and found it condemned” – Rudie.
At least it gave the world an exciting vision of the sort of fonts we may see on our buildings in some possible future.
filed in GONZO FIELD REPORTS, SEGA IN THE MODERN AGE on Nov.10, 2009
November 10th, 2009 on 12:11 pm
That jacket is surely the bollocks.
I happen to know that you can get a Harley Street Rod with the painted bits in that light blue, so my plan is to get the bike, the jacket and search out some sky blue boots. Mmm yeah I’m going to look SUPER*
*I weight 93kg, avoid forming a mental image if you possibly can
November 10th, 2009 on 1:02 pm
93kg? What’s that in old money then? How would you compare to say, Brian Blessed?
And sky-blue boots? Surely you’d be wanting bright red ones to complete the Sonic look?
November 10th, 2009 on 3:29 pm
No no no, I’m not after a a Sonic costume. It’d be a cool and completely not gay Sonic based totally super motorcycling style statement.
November 10th, 2009 on 3:41 pm
50kg? That’s about 7½ stone. Should UKR be organizing some food parcels to send to Rudie to make sure he makes it through the winter?
None for Ben though, the 14 stone fat bastard.
November 10th, 2009 on 4:11 pm
Sorry, confused now. You’re saying about wearing a tight sky blue leather outfit in one post and then saying “not gay” in the next. Which is it to be?
As for mental images, I instantly thought of South Park’s Big Gay Al when you said it would look SUPER
November 10th, 2009 on 5:16 pm
Super, Yes. I’d probably look quite a bit like Big Gay Al in that jacket, but I’d try and keep my penis covered for everyone’s benefit.
That blue does actually look like a Harley colour so I was attempting to link the whole shocking concept of me in that jacket with a Harley riding, ironically un-self aware gay denying type riff, basically being self depreciating because I like Harley’s (a little) and trying to offend any random American visitors to the site at the same time which I see is working less and less well the more I explain it.
I’d quite like to see if it can now be made any less funny than it already is…
November 10th, 2009 on 6:27 pm
Oh, don’t worry, Badben, I’m offended.
November 10th, 2009 on 6:31 pm
Nope, I think we’re pretty much done here now.
Unless we could get either Michael McIntyre to read it all out loud. That’d pretty much guarantee unfunny in my book, and bundle ‘smug’ in for good measure too.
Oh, or Kieron Gillen, if that war’s still on?
Where are we on that front Zorg?
November 10th, 2009 on 6:51 pm
I think it’s over. I think he won.
November 11th, 2009 on 8:52 am
And he gets to be the next companion on Doctor Who!