It’s time. Or rather, it was time about three years ago and we have only just got around to making it formal.

I’m going out. Might be some time. Save me a few of those Sonic The Hedgehog pasta shapes, if they haven’t gone rotten inside the tin. Thanks for everything, everyone. It’s been character defining.

Today marks the UK launch of the 3DS, and thousands of COMPLETE IDIOTS queued all night just to get their hands on one.

Here’s the list of launch games for the 3DS:
PilotWings Resort
Steel Diver
Kid Icarus: Uprising
Mario Kart 3DS
Nintendogs
Animal Crossing
StarFox 64 3D
Paper Mario

Nothing really exciting in that lineup worth forking out £200 for. Also you could add the prefix “Yet another…” to most of those games. Does the world really need another Mario Kart? Really?

Bonus material – Nintendo employed a woman to hold their product in a hideous flash-driven piece of promo fluff on their site.

Seems to have the basic idea, but loses points for thumb placement. 6/10

Found this. Thought it was an unfunny pretend game. Turns out it’s real, which is even less funny:

Shall we say midnight, Thursday 24th, my house for the mass suicide?

But hang on, what’s this?

Oh. It’s an Xbox 360 reissue.  :(

Blurry photo hastily taken at PC World. On the plus side it was the only bastion of HAPPY BLUE SKY GAMING sitting on a shelf of dreary 18+ sludge.

It happened a few days ago but I couldn’t be bothered to post at the time

Various sequels won awards against a backdrop of pretentious idiots quaffing champagne.

Gemma Atkinson was there. Do people still fancy her?

Ben Kingsley and his missus turned up (surprisingly). He must’ve got muddled up and thought it was the film one instead

Iain Lee was (predictably) there

Blue were (hilariously) living up to their name

That’s your lot for another seven days!

It’s only a prototype. The actual retail version will probably end up with rickets, fat arms, club feet and a spack face.

Should a 31 year old even be contemplating its purchase?

Shamelessly stolen from a site that has regular updates: The Sonic Stadium

If nothing else, it should stop Weatherbox from whinging?

Someone else is having a coming-of-age eBay sale. Mr “Funky Dung” had access to quite a range of promotional merchandise, it would seem. Or just lots of money to throw at import shops.

He no longer wants to continue carrying this very absorbent-looking Dreamcast towel about with him every time he moves house.

He also has an “MTV ‘The Lick’ & Dreamcast crossover t-shirt from when Sega tried and failed to make Dreamcast hip” up for grabs. Good luck.

During GDC 2011, Yu Suzuki stated that he thinks Sega will allow him to make Shenmue 3, provided he doesn’t get carried away with the budget and can guarantee healthy sales.

So there you have it.

If they don’t make it now, we’ll all be mad and slag them off.

If they do make it, we’ll slag them off anyway and say it’s shit.

It’s your call Sega. Just don’t let Sonic Team anywhere near it please.