Entries in the ‘GENTLE STALKING’ Category:

ROCKSTAR GAMES REBUFF ‘BLUE SKY IN GAMES’ CAMPAIGN – *EXCLUSIVE*

You heard it here first – Rockstar Games has no intention of making games with blue skies. Apparently they’re happy with brown cities full of junkies and whores.

A few weeks back while bored after Christmas, and with nothing on the telly I decided to write to Rockstar Games about their back catalogue. The email was perhaps a bit strong in its choice of language, but I didn’t really expect a reply anyway so I thought it might be fun to vent. The email went as follows:

From: Karl

Age: 27

Message:

As a long-time gamer, I have made purchase of many Rockstar Games products, starting with the original GTA for the Playstation (which was a shoddy port, sadly). I note with interest that Rockstar are keen on pushing an edgy, ‘adult’ image. But I feel your company has a lot to answer for. Not in a Jack Thompson, “videogames made my chid into a feral killer” kind of way. But the success of the GTA series has led to a lot of other companies following the money and now the market is saturated with crime games, rubbish free-roaming games (True Crime: Streets of LA, anyone?) and other assorted “adult” tat.

Is there any chance of Rockstar bucking the trend, and perhaps pushing out a cheery little happy game where nobody gets kerb-stomped? You could put it out on the PS Network and Xbox Live, and I bet that the media would be intrigued by such a volte-face. Or even on the App Store – you’d make a killing (no pun intended).

I find myself agreeing with this man’s ideas – http://www.ukresistance.co.uk/2005/11/blue-sky-in-games-campaign-launched.html It’s not about prudery. It’s not about censorship. I’m not against blowing “gangstas” away in games. I’m just one of many people sick of the deluge of games in this genre.

How about starting a reverse trend, Rockstar? Although I don’t think I will hold my breath.

However, about a week later I received this reply in my email inbox:

Hi Karl,

Thanks for your message.  While we appreciate your point of view, we do stand by our catalog of titles as one that is indeed diverse and varied for many tastes.  For every Grand Theft Auto title in our history, there is also a teen-appropriate Midnight Club racing game or a lighthearted title such as Bully or a Red Dead Redemption epic and dramatic western or even our occasional E-rated releases such as Table Tennis and the music-making title, Beaterator.  We have always geared our releases to be cutting-edge, progressive entertainment and yes, many of those experiences are catered towards mature players – but hopefully you’ll stick with us and look forward to what we have lined up for 2011 and beyond including L.A. Noire, Max Payne 3 and more.

Cheers,

Rockstar Games

I would like to take the opportunity to reply to Rockstar Games by saying like fuck i will.

Comments (12)

SONIC AND TAILS TATTOOED ON THE FLABBY, PINK AND YELLOWED FLESH OF WHAT IS CLAIMED TO BE A LADY

A reader found these. They are of light/mild interest because that blotchy, bruised skin is supposedly the skin of a lady. No idea what part of a lady, so you’ll have to invent the scene in which she slowly reveals them to you in your own minds.

sonic-tattoo-lady-1

“I was doing some Level 3 stalking of some woman I saw on a dating web site and found these pictures and I thought I would be a good idea to send them to you. I need to go and cry myself to sleep while watching my train set go around like a record” – Jim.

sonic-tattoo-lady-2

No idea what part that might be. It bulges out like it might be a bit of poorly-maintained side, and that may be a waistband bottom-left – but it’s tough to really narrow it down. Could be a monstrous arm, for example.

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“SKY SPORTS PRESENTER GEORGIE THOMPSON”

We know the internet. We know the #1 thing people on the internet want to see is photos of female TV presenters in different positions and scenarios than usual, wearing different clothes than usual. It lets you build up a wider, more solid fantasy scenario in your head, if you know what sort of clothes they wear outside of the studio.

sky-xbox-360-2

This, for example, is what Georgie might wear on a “night out” with “the girls”.

sky-xbox-360-1

Photos taken from the Daily Mail. The excuse for reading the Daily Mail web site is as follows – we were writing something proper for someone else about Sky and Xbox 360, and required an image. These images popped up in Google Image Search, leading us to the Daily Mail web site for the larger originals.

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IDIOT PUTS SKIN IN THE HANDS OF UBISOFT’S MARKETING DEPARTMENT

Jesus Christ. All it takes is one meeting where Ubisoft decides to stop wasting money supporting “the community” and she’s going to look very, very silly indeed.

frag-dolls-tattoo

“When I found out about the Frag Dolls, who they are and what they represented, I made a goal for myself: I wanted to be a Frag Doll. I decided when I became a Frag Doll I would represent my accomplishment forever. I wanted to always remember and show that I appreciated the honor of being a part of something that is so influential and of course fun. With this said, I decided my second gaming tattoo would be the Frag Dolls logo and my new name Fidget!” – Fidget :(

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RICHARD JACQUES SUGGESTS BECOMING A FAN OF RICHARD JACQUES

But Richard, WE ALREADY ARE. YOU KNOW THIS. WHY ARE YOU PRETENDING?

jacques-fan-indoctrination

Hopefully there’s some sort of sick drunken initiation ceremony, involving group games to do with bottoms. There’d better not be any women allowed in this fan club.

Comments (17)