Archive for January, 2011:


LONDON & SAN FRANCISCO (31st Jan 2010)— SEGA® Europe Ltd. and SEGA® of America, Inc. announced today that SEGA Rally Online Arcade™, a new HD title inspired by SEGA Rally Revo™ and SEGA Rally 3™, will be racing onto PlayStation® Network and Xbox LIVE® Arcade for the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft in 2011. SEGA’s arcade and console favourite will include a collection of new features, including the ability for gamers to race their friends online!

sega rally online arcade

That’s their exclamation mark. More here.

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This has appeared on a Korean games ratings website

Fingers crossed it’s more of this…..

…..and less of this

That’s more of this…..

…..and less of this

Just so we’re completely clear. More of this…..

…..less of this

And now for the bad news.

Sony filed the rating so it’s likely to be an exclusive title for the PS3 and/or that new handheld thing they’re releasing for people with massive hands.

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Although nothing sexual happens or is even hinted at in the subtext.

“Good old Pakistan, keeping the dream alive!” – Zed Minor X.

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You heard it here first – Rockstar Games has no intention of making games with blue skies. Apparently they’re happy with brown cities full of junkies and whores.

A few weeks back while bored after Christmas, and with nothing on the telly I decided to write to Rockstar Games about their back catalogue. The email was perhaps a bit strong in its choice of language, but I didn’t really expect a reply anyway so I thought it might be fun to vent. The email went as follows:

From: Karl

Age: 27


As a long-time gamer, I have made purchase of many Rockstar Games products, starting with the original GTA for the Playstation (which was a shoddy port, sadly). I note with interest that Rockstar are keen on pushing an edgy, ‘adult’ image. But I feel your company has a lot to answer for. Not in a Jack Thompson, “videogames made my chid into a feral killer” kind of way. But the success of the GTA series has led to a lot of other companies following the money and now the market is saturated with crime games, rubbish free-roaming games (True Crime: Streets of LA, anyone?) and other assorted “adult” tat.

Is there any chance of Rockstar bucking the trend, and perhaps pushing out a cheery little happy game where nobody gets kerb-stomped? You could put it out on the PS Network and Xbox Live, and I bet that the media would be intrigued by such a volte-face. Or even on the App Store – you’d make a killing (no pun intended).

I find myself agreeing with this man’s ideas – It’s not about prudery. It’s not about censorship. I’m not against blowing “gangstas” away in games. I’m just one of many people sick of the deluge of games in this genre.

How about starting a reverse trend, Rockstar? Although I don’t think I will hold my breath.

However, about a week later I received this reply in my email inbox:

Hi Karl,

Thanks for your message.  While we appreciate your point of view, we do stand by our catalog of titles as one that is indeed diverse and varied for many tastes.  For every Grand Theft Auto title in our history, there is also a teen-appropriate Midnight Club racing game or a lighthearted title such as Bully or a Red Dead Redemption epic and dramatic western or even our occasional E-rated releases such as Table Tennis and the music-making title, Beaterator.  We have always geared our releases to be cutting-edge, progressive entertainment and yes, many of those experiences are catered towards mature players – but hopefully you’ll stick with us and look forward to what we have lined up for 2011 and beyond including L.A. Noire, Max Payne 3 and more.


Rockstar Games

I would like to take the opportunity to reply to Rockstar Games by saying like fuck i will.

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It’s not called Nights.
Nor does it look anything like Nights.
It doesn’t seem to be about dreams.
Or nightmares.

It’s got flying in it though.
Oh, and Yuji Naka’s directing it.

On reflection, perhaps I shouldn’t have implied it was a new Nights installment after all?

It’s slap-dash, sensationalist post titles like this that give credible gaming sites a bad name!


Don’t get too excited. It’s on the Wii and 3DS

The screen grabs don’t get any better than this either. If anything, they get worse

The photographer should’ve used the MACRO MODE

He’s tried one with the flash on to see if it’s improved things

That’s a bit better. Shame it’s the last one.

Everything was pinched from here

The game’s called Tenkuu no Kishi Rodea which probably translates to something about shooting and/or flying

It’ll turn out to be shit.

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The Mega Drive version of Virtua Fighter 2 is now available on iPhone. It probably sold more copies than the PAL Saturn release in the time it took you to make that cup of tea.

vf2 iphone

Happy? Sad? Indifferent? Confused? Annoyed that Sarah Bryant’s tits won’t be as nice in 2D?

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Doesn’t look like Sega bothered to promote it very well, especially as none of us noticed it was out

I bet Yu Suzuki’s LIVID

If you’ve got four grand lying about, you can buy it from here

It’s actually quite cheap, considering they want £500 more for the abysmal Sega Rally Revo 3 cabinet.

Here’s a video of two men not appreciating it enough:

Come on Sega, get this ported to Xbox Live. If you can’t be bothered, let Sumo Digital do it for you

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That’s right, it’s plural.

Because I don’t have any original ideas, here’s some more pictures of that funny man with his shirt off from the new Yakuza game:

The internet says he’s called Esper Ito

Apparently, they’re all popular comedians in Japan and Sega thought it wise to include them in the only game series that they haven’t yet wrecked.

Hopefully, the localised UK version will feature an equally popular light entertainer?

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That’s your lot for today folks

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This is turning out nice.

sonic 2 hd mild peril

As in, it might be worth spending 10 minutes with to confirm that it’s exactly the same game underneath, then not bothering any more because it’s exactly the same game underneath.

sonic 2 crop

That’s some serious peril. You could possibly spin-dash forwards, but the only real way to safeguard the rings would be a humiliating jump backwards.

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