Entries in the ‘SEGA IN THE MODERN AGE’ Category:

NEW DREAMCAST GAME IN SHOPS

But hang on, what’s this?

:( :( :( :( :( :(

Oh. It’s an Xbox 360 reissue.  :(

Blurry photo hastily taken at PC World. On the plus side it was the only bastion of HAPPY BLUE SKY GAMING sitting on a shelf of dreary 18+ sludge.

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JAPANESE SEGA FAN “HAPPY NEW YEAR” ART

Disappointing lack of dripping cock monsters looming ominously over tearful schoolgirls that only look about 14, but it’s good to see SEGA’s remaining fan base still pines after the return of Cream to the “canon” character universe.

Not sure about the socks and sandals thing, though. It certainly isn’t as enjoyable as Kylie’s ongoing Shoe of the Day Twitter output that has taken #1 spot on the in-house internet hit parade.

cream-dragon

“Cream the Rabbit in a Kimono. I thought this was right up your street” – Mr Needlemouse.

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THING THAT LOOKS A BIT LIKE A DREAMCAST SPOTTED IN THE MIDDLE-DISTANCE OF A VIDEO DEMONSTRATION

Is everyone excited about another year of this sort of thing?

possibly-a-dreamcast

“Dreamcast spotted in a Japanese research centre! Obviously not, but I like to think that between making mobile cinema toys, these guys all sit down for a bout of Sega Rally 2 on the DC in the background” – Gary.

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BY PUBLIC DEMAND: THE SEGA TOILET GAME

Judging by the huge number of urine-based puns lined up in our email inbox this morning, you would all be MADE HAPPY today by us mentioning this – the SEGA weeing urinal game. It’s the most disappointing Japanese piss video you will see today.

From loads of places on the internet, over the past few days, via lots of people. Like, at least three. Thanks everyone.

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A REVIEW OF A NEW SEGA PRODUCT

Well, sort of.

It’s actually the Blaze “10-games-in-one” Megadrive system. But it’s new! I bought it from a real shop! Yesterday! Just like when Sega used to have consoles stocked in shops!

So… is it any good?

There's a Sad Onion on the back of the box too...

The box looks authentic, like a real Sega product. This is EXCITING!

The Megadrive logo is wonky. The kind of attention to detail that put Sega where they are now...

The console itself is very, very light. The controllers are tacky and the d-pads are sharp enough to cause serious injury if carelessly hurled during a heated gaming session. You can however plug in regular Megadrive controllers. There is also a cartridge slot for your Megadrive games. The whole thing runs through 2 composite leads, one for video and one for audio.

Oh dear :(

…and this is the game selection screen. Fatal Labyrinth appears to have been elided into one word. The colour’s a bit washed out, but it IS on a 42″ TV.

ESWAT vs the dreaded flash!

And this is an actual game running from the console. Verdict? The colours are a bit washed out, and the sound is tinny but it’s less of an arse than trying to get your old Megadrive running on an LCD TV with a decent picture. It’s a bit finicky about some Megadrive games, but it’s played most of the ones I’ve tried. Overall? It’s a cheap bit of fun, and if your old console is totally knackered you could do worse than give it a punt.

7/10, or if you want it in stars *** out of *****

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WHERE ARE THEY NOW? JACKY BRYANT / SEGA SAMMY EDITION

Jacky has taken on an acting role, playing one of the non-player characters in marginally upscaled PlayStation2 remake Gran Turismo 5.The second image comes from “Dave” and we may have used it before but can’t remember.

jacky bryant gt5

“Just thought I’d let you know that I have spotted Virtua Fighter star Jacky Bryant in Sony’s Gran Turismo 5. It must be from the lack of new beat ‘em ups being released via AM2, but Jacky seems to have been spending an awful lot of time racing these days. His last Sega appearance was in Sonic & Sega All-stars Racing, but now Jacky has given in to all that dirty Sony money and has put his racing skills to effect in the latest PlayStation Scud Race clone.”

gt5-sega

“Personally I put this entire shocking move down to the lack of a home conversion of Virtua Fighter 5 Final Showdown, which would have given Jacky a lot more steady work rather than have to whore himself out for measly bit-parts in games” – Simon.

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SONIC CASHES IT ALL IN FOR NEW, ANONYMOUS LIFE IN THE COUNTRY

A t-shirt called “16 Bit Recession” from here.

sonic cash4gold

From our in-house, unpaid social care assistant “GigerPunk”. You can buy it here for the remainder of today. After which that link won’t work and you’ll think we didn’t bother checking it.

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IT IS DEFINITELY ALL OVER

Even SEGA’s Mr Nagoshi, the last living, employed, embodiment of the classic, colourful SEGA dream of yesteryear, is now making games about robots/marines/the future accompanied by wisecracking dialogue.

We won’t be buying this, not even when it’s discounted to £12.99 three hours after launch.

This is it. The end. A bald, generic future marine has just rolled an incendiary device into the lobby of SEGA Japan. There’s no one left of any merit to pull out of the rubble. Link via VG247.

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“A MURAL OF MARGARET THATCHER ADORNS ONE WALL IN AN 80S-ERA LOUNGE BAR”

Some kids got a bit confused about their decades and ironic references.

OPENING PREAMBLE
“There’s a new nightclub built around the general theme of Margaret Thatcher apparently, which is like building a theme park around the concept of getting to the till in the supermarket and realising you need to go get cash out of the machine, and having to walk back after your withdrawal to an impatient till line giving you the stinkeye.

“As you might expect from a nightclub modeled on Maggie, it features rudimentary graffiti drawings of Mr. T, who few realise was a fairly marginal Tory backbencher under the reign of the Iron Lady.

sonic-80s-error

“The walls are also decorated with other our most beloved pop culture icons, such as the sensational William Hague and a particularly striking mural of the glitzy and glamorous Enoch Powell to help set the scene for a night of hedonistic delights. But the real belle of the ball is a hedgehog you know all too well! No, it’s not the one that turns up in your garden sometimes making revolting sex grunts and shitting itself when the motion light comes on, it’s Sonic, so don’t go leaving out a plate of milk and bread for him. I think they chose Sonic to epitomise the 80s, clearly overlooking the fact that Sonic first appeared in 1991 alongside an incumbent John Major. Anyway, I read it in the Guardian, on my Kindle, whilst tastefully sipping a fairtrade cappucino and listening to the new Paolo Nutini album on my iPod Touch in the business lounge of the Eurostar. I was wearing cream chinos” – Weatherbox.

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SONIC, YOU LITTLE TRAITOR

Sonic has had a long history of taking one step forward and two steps back. For every Sonic Rush there is a Sonic Unleashed (or even, god forbid, Sonic Unleashed Mobile).

And now, not long after at least making a move in the right direction, the little shit jumps on the Kinect bandwagon with Sonic Free Riders.

Wooo! Radical dood!

Look at him, dressed up like a sloaney twat on a ski slope in the Alps. And since when has Sonic needed a hoverboard? IGN gave it 7.5/10, so it’s obviously crap.

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