The Sun, being the paragon of finely-researched investigative journalism it is, has uncovered a terrible truth about the forthcoming Nintendo 3DS.

It’s really ugly.

Only kidding – apparently the upcoming Nintendo handheld could damage the eyesight of children, affecting the development of their eyes. If you wish to muddy your browser then the whole article can be found here.

Of course, this is nothing new if you were a gamer in the early 90’s when VR was at its height:

Legible version can be found here. Will this stop people from buying it for their mewling litters? Probably not. But say what you like about the Game Gear, it never sent anyone blind.

This incredibly dated promotional video illustrates exactly how SEGA managed to spunk away all its Mega Drive momentum in the space of a few short months.

Courtesy of “GigerPunk” who says he found it while casually browsing the YouTube Time Machine. Which, in his mind, is a better thing to admit to doing than saying he was looking for Mega CD adverts. Funny how some people’s minds work.

“Today on Computers Today…”

A 43-year-old man playing Castle of Illusion and getting excited about the edge balance animation.

Another “GigerPunk” submission. He didn’t write any accompanying text, because he’s a bit busy ironing our underpants and putting the dinner on.

Definitely has the potential to “go viral” this one. What’s that man at Kotaku’s email address? This is going to get at least three tweets, one of which may not even be automated.

From a man’s Tumblr, which is a bit like a blog but for people even worse at paying attention, via another man called “Rafael” – who says this is from a Swedish magazine called SEGA FORCE.

Is this even allowed? Surely SEGA would’ve told them to NOT DO THIS and have all issues quickly removed from the shelves? Maybe that happened. We skipped the Amiga. It’s taken from issue #34 of Amiga Action.

Zool may well have stormed through briefly in 1992, but we’re assured he’s currently working a Saturday morning shift in Computer Exchange.

Sent in by a man on Twitter. Sorry we didn’t reply via Twitter, man, as we don’t have the “keys” to that account.

Times may well be quite hard for hedgehogs, but we don’t exactly live in a world that’s overrun by ninja fucking ants, either, do we?

Taken from this scanned-in archive of the first issue of PC Zone.

We haven’t copied & pasted the rest of the headline, which says this was actually recorded at a fan festival in 2008. Let’s pretend we filmed this ourselves last Thursday at a private event.

Here’s a video we filmed ourselves at a private event last Thursday. What happened after is too rude to show.

“As Sonic 134567898 observes, ‘T.J. Davis is such a good singer that her singing this will make you cry’. I feel a bit sick. Thanks. Bye” – James.

The deal seems to be that the bloke who runs this shop is drip-feeding us interesting articles from a very old games magazine, in return for a link to his shop. He seems to think a link on UKR will make him a wealthy man. He will soon find out otherwise.

And we don’t remember a magazine called Raze. We were only into ACE in 1990.

“Here’s a little one you might like. And at only £24.99 they were a real bargain! This is from Raze magazine in 1990, if you remember that mag” – You Likee.

There was a mole within Sonic The Comic, who gave out prizes to people who drew and distributed sick Robotnik propaganda illustrations. No wonder “things” soon started going wrong.

“I remembered what the other-other thing I wanted to send you was. I have attached it. It is an image in a magazine which my friend drew, winning him an upside down sonic watch. It’s a pretty crap submission, I’m not really sure it warranted a follow up email, but the attachment is all uploaded now so I’m sending it anyway. Bye” – H.

“Naturally the games have to be modem compatible, and obviously you can’t use it in Britain at the moment” – classic WE HAVE NO NEW CONTENT import coverage of a SEGA product.

We do miss eight-page features on Japanese games you can’t buy or understand.

“Here’s a quick head tip to the Sega Modem from Raze 1991. At least the reviewer knew the real possibilities of the hardware rather than the fantasy that we all believed it would be. My scanner refuses to scan at more than 72dpi at the moment but let me know if you want a better scan and I’ll take it in to the office” – You Likee.