Entries in the ‘LIES’ Category:

WORLD EXCLUSIVE PSP2 LEAKED PICTURES!!!

WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!!

You saw it here first folks. Brand new leaked pictures from someone’s mate’s dad, whose missus works at a Sony Centre!

WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!!

What we know:

It’s 3D, because they’re serious about forcing this kind of novelty onto consumers.

It’s HD because it makes it sound better.

It’s got one of those touch screens that don’t work properly for games, but are all the rage these days.

It’s got 5 analogue sticks because this is the only thing Sony can think to innovate on.

There’s no headphone socket because it’s got FOUR speakers to allow you BLAST OUT Tinchy Stryder at FULL WHACK. It’s more than loud enough to entertain everyone else who’s also on the train/bus/tram.

It’s got another seventeen buttons round the back (not pictured) and loads of other things that they’ve copied off someone else.

It’ll be released around Christmas time next year, when people have plenty of money to shell out on rubbish.

It will be AT LEAST THREE HUNDRED NOTES!

Gran Turismo 6 is DEFINITELY a launch title.

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PS3 LIE WATCH: SONY ONCE AGAIN ATTEMPTS TO BLAME “LIMITED STOCK” FOR PS3′S TERRIBLE SHOWING

The enemy is again attempting to rewrite history before the war is even over! Speaking to IGN and quoted by Eurogamer, Peter Dille, the enemy’s Senior Vice President of Marketing (Marketing = LIES), tried to blame stock shortages for the dismal showing of his console.

Peter, THERE WAS NO STOCK SHORTAGE. We were there. We remember what happened. It was only two-and-a-half years ago. We saw it happen. We documented it as it happened. Your pieces of shit were piled up in every shop and warehouse the length and breadth of this country. And America, we just didn’t bother saving all the American PS3 stockpile photos.

Lest we forget Manchester, England, Peter, where Virgin had 328 in stock shortly after launch. LEST WE FORGET THE BRAVE PEOPLE OF MANCHESTER, PETER, WHO RESISTED YOU THEN AND STILL RESIST YOU NOW – AND WILL RESIST AND RESIST AND RESIST UNTIL YOU QUIT. Is that a shortage, Peter? Is 328 a shortage? You must have a lot of everything if you think 328 is not very many.

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That is A LIE. There was a GLUT, Peter. There was an enormous fucking GLUT, you fool. Anyway. With thanks to “Shine” for pointing out Sony’s latest embarrassingly crude attempt at retrospective reputation management.

Argos PS3 stock shame

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ONCE AN ENEMY, ALWAYS AN ENEMY

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Virgin Woking - Painful countdown

LEST WE FORGET.

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ENORMOUS EXAGGERATION WATCH: SONY ON NBA 10: THE INSIDE

Should this image of PSP basketball game Inside 10 REALLY be captioned “Portland Fans Go Crazy for Brandon Roy at the NBA 10: THE INSIDE Launch Event”? Is anyone going crazy in the slightest?

It appears to our untrained eyes like some bored fat children are having a sit down while they discuss their terrible clothing decisions.

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“NEARLY 10 AVID GAMERS ALMOST RIOT IN NEAR-CHAOTIC SCENES OF MILD INTEREST”

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SONY ADMITS TO MAKING IT ALL UP

New corporate logo embraces the company’s core value of TELLING LIES ABOUT EVERYTHING.

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Unbelievable. Quite staggering, but good to see it owning up for once. Another notch for the Sony’s TERRIBLE ERROR bed post. Sent in by a “Chris” who has nothing better to do than reload Kotaku all day.

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If anyone fancies knocking up a few, the font to use is Century Gothic at about 35 point size.

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PSP LIE WATCH: NEW DATA REGARDING “GRAN TURISMO”

Finally. Finally we see the blotchy hell that is the reality of the in-game action. You will never win, Sony. Not while human beings still have the ability to remember things you said more than seven days ago.

Behold… the MESH of SHAME!

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The game.

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What was previously advertised as being the game, but is actually NOT the game or even ANYTHING LIKE the game. From VG247 and that horrible place.

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PSP LIE WATCH: WARNING! FAKE SCREENSHOTS OF “GRAN TURISMO” ARE BEING CIRCULATED

A batch of screenshots purporting to be of “Gran Turismo” on PSP are in circulation. Please don’t be fooled. A man could be tricked into buying a PSP on the strength of fake claims about Gran Turismo. Imagine that.

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The fake screenshots look like this. A person or persons pretending to be “Sony” is sending the above images out to web sites and blogs. Even the mighty Kotaku has been taken in by the scam.

Sub-Dreamcast level graphics

The actual game looks more like this, and probably even a bit worse on your fucked up old screen with all the scratches on it from where it’s been slopping about in your little leather school satchel for the last four years. Be vigilant.

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PS3 LIE WATCH: AN UPDATE REGARDING UK SALES FIGURES

Back in January of this year, Sony earned “column inches” by boasting that that PlayStation3 had overtaken Xbox 360 in parts of Europe and was selling at “three times” the rate of Microsoft’s console. We have reproduced the quote for you here:

“…the team here expect to overtake the installed base of Xbox 360 across all PAL territories in late summer,” David Reeves, Sony Europe, January 24 2008.

However, retailer GAME has just revealed official UK sales data which shows Sony has sold 1.4 million PS3s in the UK, compared to Microsoft’s 2.3 million Xbox 360s. That is a VERY LARGE GAP and not what even the wildest of statisticians would consider a close battle.

It is certainly not three times as many. It is more like loads less.

Do not trust this man, anyone on his pay roll or people that transcribe his interviews.


THOSE UK HARDWARE TOTALS AGAIN, AS OF SEPTEMBER 2008:
DS: 7.1m
Wii: 3.6m
PSP: 2.9m
360: 2.3m
PS3: 1.4m

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SEGA FANS ONCE AGAIN HUMILIATED AND DISAPPOINTED

Some of the diehard few still clutching onto their Dreamcasts and STILL REFUSING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE LIE that the PS2 can do better graphics were ecstatic over the apparent “relaunching” of Dreamcast.com. As of this writing the link leads to some page about phishing and how the page was the perpetrator of a phishing scam. Just a few days ago it looked all official and Sega-ey like it was really set up by Sega of Japan, and it had this graphic on the front page:


Why yes! Yes, we do! Oh, sweet Jesus, it seems Sega really cares after all. And through the way that question is phrased, it knows that anybody who still has a Dreamcast (or even more uncommon, plays it regularly!) is a serious video game nerd who needs to move on and enjoy some of their more recent mediocre games for the current video game consoles on the market.

But don’t toss your Dreamcast! If you were to click on that graphic you would be taken to a page where you were asked to enter your console’s serial number and your email address, and in return, get your VERY OWN Dreamcast.com email address- generated from your console’s SERIAL NUMBER. Yes, you could have had an email address of something like “DU51820572@user.dreamcast.com” which is actually just a Gmail account in disguise (see below). Try using that as your business account and see how long it takes to get blacklisted by every spam filter in the world.
But then it turns out that Sega doesn’t even own the Dreamcast.com domain anymore, and somebody else set it up- apparently as part of a maniacal plot to harvest the email addresses of innocent Sega fans. But for what purpose, we don’t know, and we want someone to tell us. We had the misfortune of getting overexcited and hurriedly ripping out our Dreamcast from its connectors to get it over to the computer to enter in the serial number, and now some HOOLIGAN has our email address instead of mother Sega. But then again, so what? According to our spam folder, so do 974 other fine people on the internet.

The worst part, or the most predictable part, is that people thought this meant Sega was planning something for the Dreamcast’s 10th anniversary (that’s right, 10th) which is coming up in November. We thought we finally might be getting Dreamcast 2, and this email signup was perhaps for a beta test of the NEW Dreamcast Online Network, which obviously would be better than Xbox Live (and we need not mention fucking PlayStation Home). As it turns out, it was all a load of depressing crap and it’s just the latest in a long line of Dreamcast-related embarrassments, right next to the last game ever released for the console being a mediocre shooter and how they shut down the last GD-ROM factory a few months ago. Now we have to go through the trouble of putting the VGA box back in, which is always tough because of its short cable. Whoever did this better mail us a mint copy of De La Jet Set Radio, and soon.

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THE FIRST CASUALTY OF WAR IS TRUTH

We don't know anyone who bought one. Or know anyone who know's anyone who bought one. Salesfigure=LIE!! Citizens, beware AXIS propaganda!

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GREAT NEWS FOR PS3 FANS!

UK web retailer Kanection has had its launch allocation increased!

Hurry!

Or, to put it another way, “WE ALSO HAVE LOADS OF THE FUCKING THINGS LEFT AND NEED THE WAREHOUSE SPACE FOR MORE Wiis”.

TODAY’S PS3 SALES DISASTER ROUND-UP:

  • Web retailer Simply Games is already discounting PS3, selling pre-orders for 415 pounds.
  • Gameplay, who we forgot about, also has some left.
  • We walked along Oxford Street yesterday. London’s busiest shopping street. HMV and GAME were still taking pre-orders.
  • The FT says Sony’s claims of PS3 “shortages” are “baffling“.
  • Comments (24)