Archive for August, 2010:

SOME MEN WILL BE SITTING AROUND ON A FASHIONABLE SOFA AGREEING WITH EACH OTHER THAT HALO IS QUITE GOOD

The makers of Gameface, which we may have been quite mean about a year or two ago and are a bit scared to check, are doing a whole TV channel about games. From here.

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“So, Michael, tell us about this new downloadable map pack for…” *SWITCHES TO BABESTATION 2 EVEN THOUGH IT’S THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY AND THEY’LL HAVE ALL THEIR CLOTHES ON*

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MAN DIDN’T BUY (SMALL) SONIC BALLOON

Here’s Sonic doing a bit of work for charity, by bravely volunteering his likeness for a balloon sold in hospital receptions. So dads can buy a balloon for their child when it’s in hospital, offsetting the massive guilt triggered by enjoying the peace and quiet at home.

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“I was working in Queens Hospital Romford this week and as I was walking through the entrance I was stopped in my tracks by this balloon! It was being sold at £2.99 and had gone by the time I had finished my job. Enjoy! From Mike in Dunstable (that’s where King Henry VIII got divorced from Catherine of Aragon WOW!)” – Mike, in Dunstable, where…

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BY PUBLIC DEMAND: MUSHROOM HILL ZONE IN WIDESCREEN 3D

The rise of social media means there are now even more ways for people to send in the same thing. Like this video, which has been tweeted, poked, and emailed to us, and someone even wound down their car window and suggested we do something on it.

Tomorrow the letters will start arriving. So here it is.

Thanks to everyone. We nearly gave up just then. These people seem to be on the case when it comes to working out who actually made it and why and how.

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PLAYSTATION3? “NO WAY” IT IS “TOO EXPENSIVE”

Those aren’t our words, but also the words spoken by a character in a Chilean arthouse film. PS3 disrespecting has hit the ‘World Cinema’ section.

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“I found this scene while watching an obscure artsy film from Chile. It’s about a father denying and ridiculizing his child for asking for a PS3″

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“Only later did I figure that those subs could have been easily faked onto any other movie” – Matteo.

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Was there any good porn in it, Matteo? Farmer’s daughter coming-of-age kind of thing?

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1990 WAS ONE MILLION YEARS AGO

“Today on Computers Today…”

A 43-year-old man playing Castle of Illusion and getting excited about the edge balance animation.

Another “GigerPunk” submission. He didn’t write any accompanying text, because he’s a bit busy ironing our underpants and putting the dinner on.

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VIRTUA TENNIS 4

Andy’s not very happy because it’s only been announced as a PlayStation Move game.

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And someone’s got the exclusive on screenshots of the lady players. More stuff about it here and here.

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SUPER MARIO 2, IN A CASE, FOR $500

He could’ve put a bit more effort into coiling that cable.

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“Are you still doing those incredibly shit eBay auctions of people who hike prices up for something that’s practically worthless? If so, have a butchers at this!” – Larry.

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Mario Bros. 2 only sold around 10 million units, so actually is quite rare compared to something like how many germs there are in your toilet bowl.

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“DEAR GAMESMASTER, CAN YOU BE THE TALIBAN?”

“Hello, Jimmy. Why yes, you can be the Taliban. Simply hold down X+Y+A when selecting your character. Have fun!”

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Average age of game buyer now 39, according to this madness :(

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SONIC HOT AIR BALLOON STILL IN COMMISSION

There’s still a chance you might be able to hire the Sonic balloon out for your wedding or surprisingly upbeat it’s-what-he-would’ve-wanted funeral. It’s still flying and surprisingly hasn’t got stuck on the scenery and died.

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“Sonic is still burning his nuts! Saw this on eBay, which led me to this, which has another huge photo in it” – Andy the Squirrel.

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Despite the old fashioned aspect ratio of that image, the photograph is modern. The Sonic balloon flew in 2010 in Ireland. Has anyone spotted it in 2012 yet?

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HUNDREDS OF SPECTATORS BURNED IN HOT AIR BALLON TRAGEDY

“Gee Sonic, your genitals sure are warm today!”

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“Here’s a picture of a Sonic balloon at the Bristol Balloon Festival I just found on their website. You may notice that Windows printed the word ‘Win’ in a caption bubble on Sonic when I used the screen capture tool of Microsoft Office OneNote 2007 via my Wacom tablet. This obviously proves that SEGA has secret keylogging and/or image recognition tools embedded within the Microsoft Office 2007 suite. Here is a link to the high res non-Win version of the image for others readers to test whether or not their system includes the SEGA Win Trojan” – B.

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