Entries in the ‘INDUSTRY NEWS’ Category:

THE UK:R GAME IDEAS GENERATOR

Last year was a pretty pathetic year overall for games, with far too many of the big names being sequels (in some cases sequels of sequels of sequels). In the spirit of helping your fellow man, here’s a little something to help the games industry come up with original ideas:

Note the absence of any fucking Space Marines, game developers...

Take one idea at random from each column, and hey presto – an idea for a new game!

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WHY GAMING’S GONE TO SHIT. AGAIN!

This has only been out for five weeks and its sold over 2 million copies.

The PS3 and Xbox 360 versions haven’t been released at all and It’s yet to be released in Japan on any format, so this figure will grow.

Shenmue 1 & 2 (including the re-released Xbox version of Shenmue 2) COMBINED have sold less.

I don’t know the exact figures because I’m too furious to check, instead opting to make wild accusations.

Happy fucking new year games industry.

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NINTENDO Wii AND SERIAL KILLERS LINKED

Finally, someone has made the connection between being a mentalist and thinking that Nintendo’s Wii is a valid form of gaming entertainment.

Behold the amazing caption “Yorkshire Ripper … bowling fun”:

wii serial killer link

From The Sun. Via Eurogamer. We suspect the Sun’s “source” has been spending a bit too long playing Murderer Happy Families.

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INDUSTRY NEWS: MALE PERSON PUT IN VIDEOGAME

He’s a bit young to be having a combover, the poor kid.

michael-perham-sims-3

He’s called Michael Perham and he’s a sailor, hence the clothes.

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INDUSTRY NEWS: MR NAGOSHI IS EXPERIMENTING WITH NEW ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLE CHOICES

SEGA’s making a new Monkey Ball for that joke console. That’s why it just sent out this mesmerising photo of series creator Toshihiro Nagoshi. He wears the knowing facial expression of a man with at least one extra hole in his penis.

nagoshi-official-photo

Does SEGA Japan employ an in-house professional shaver? If not, keeping everything mown so precisely must impact heavily on his social calendar.

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DO YOU WANT A SECURE FUTURE WITH TRANSFERABLE SKILLS?

Who signed us up for a jobs mailing list? That’s not funny. It hurts. Do you think it’s easy sitting here on the internet for 16 hours a day watching people boasting about what they’re blowing their disposable income on?

train2game-courses

Clicking on the link takes you here, which seems to be a front for getting you to sign up to a training courseĀ here. Unless you’re planning on moving to Canada in the next decade, don’t bother.

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INDUSTRY NEWS: PETER MOORE IN SHORTS

When did Peter Moore become a self-mocking comedy figure? If only he’d worked up such a sweat for Dreamcast.

peter-moore-ea-sports-fitness

Photo taken by Games Press, using a Nikon D40. Thankfully we don’t have the images taken by those poor men sitting at the front.

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INDUSTRY NEWS: DAVE PERRY EXPERIMENTING WITH STUBBLE

And judging by that look on his face’s he’s getting in the mood to do a bit of Wii development or perhaps something casual for the internet.

dave-perry-unshaven-raver

What’s happened to the other Dave Perry?

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THERE WAS A TERRIBLE MIX-UP AT THE DEVELOP AWARDS

Former PlayStation man erroneously associated with “excellence”.

PHIL-HARRISON-EXCELLENCE

Just wrap it up in bubble wrap and post it back.

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GIRL IMPRESSED BY SIMPLISTIC SCENE

A simplistic scene that *may* have been slightly impressive on a home computer in 1988. May have been. We can’t remember longer ago than 1992 any more.

games_development_workshop

“I’m doing it! I’m playing a game!”

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