Our never-ending search for the sickest, filthiest, most degrading promotional photos took us to EA, where low centre of gravity superginge Wayne Rooney was secured for FIFA 2004 PR purposes. Presumably won over by the offer of a FREE GAME and a McDonalds afterwards, young Wayne beamed like only a marginally retarded footballing genius can when being told to hold something and look pleased about it in exchange for ten grand.

Presented here, in full click-to-download desktop glory, is the most evil promotional photo of all-time:

Wayne Rooney and FIFA

“That’s the girlfriend’s birthday present sorted out”

Seeing as we aren’t funny any more, why don’t you send us captions for the above photo? Go on, be funny — then pick one of these BRAND NEW DREAMCAST GAMES as your prize. Has your face just lit-up like Wayne’s? See, we got a whole pile of old Dreamcast games still in their cellophane from Sega recently. We would’ve sold them for drugs but you don’t get much drugs for Conflict Zone, even if it is still in its cellophane.

Entire Dreamcast back catalogue

So… say what game out of these you want when you submit your caption, and we really will send it out to the winner, even if you live in America (although you might have to wait six months for the bottle to float across the Atlantic).

SSX Tricky - EA's saving grace