Can you believe there’s an add-on pack called London and the South East Trains? We always knew PC gamers were old and weird and into fringe activities (trains, planes, the grooming and subsequent murder of nine-year-olds), but simulating south-east London’s 1970s rail infrastructure surely marks the nadir of pursuits for men who have opted out and given up hope of ever being perceived as normal by society.

“Your journey can start from Charing Cross, Cannon Street, Blackfriars / Holborn Viaduct (it was a terminus in 1970!) or London Bridge. You’ll travel down the South Central line to Norwood Junction, Selhurst and onto East Croydon seeing East Croydon station as it was before it was rebuilt in the 1970s”

If you look closely you can just see our demoralised face reflecting in the window, having just missed the 09:00 to London Bridge and heard the announcement that the 09:07 is delayed by 15 minutes. We are texting work fully aware that this sounds like a lie to cover a hangover sleep-in, while contemplating what difference it would really make to the world if we threw ourselves on the rails (then lay there for 21 minutes) and gave up*.

FROM THE PEOPLE THAT BOUGHT YOU:
German Airports 4
German Railroads V2
Spanish Airports inc Madrid
And many, many more.

*Intended as a joke, not a cry for help. Please don’t email in saying how you too consider throwing yourself on the train tracks every day. We already know you do. That’s why you’re here.