SEGA beats EA!
Look! Some magical old 2D games have knocked the piss-poor Need for Speed Underground 2 off the top of the charts! This will probably result in Sega buying EA and turning all EA’s dull sport/car franchises into colourful arcade dreams! Dreamcast 2 is surely imminent now! Go Sega!

'Yo, dawg, you gonna need mo' credits to race ma boat' said Knuckles, as he put on his 20,000-credit after-market Ex-Phase MKIII Race Shoes

After the hostile buyout, Sega will sack all EA staff and only keep about three of the most profitable franchises alive (which will be phased out over the next 18 months until nothing remains).

FOOTNOTE

Eagle-eyed readers will notice how we’ve failed to comment upon the UTTER STUPIDITY of UK gamers as illustrated by chart positions four and five, because it kind of ruins our point. With The Simpsons Hit & Run the FOURTH best-selling game of the week after 67 weeks on the chart, the opinions of UK games-buyers are worth slightly less than zero. Still, well done Sega.