How can this sentence…

“I was a bit like a volcano. An erupting volcano. I paused the PlayStation. I went to the kitchen and collected the knife. Without realising it, I stabbed him”

…actually be said by a human being? And we thought throwing a controller and accusing the console of “being gay” was over reacting a bit.

Story in today’s Sun newspaper:

We often “feel like a volcano” after losing at something, but the worst we’ve ever done is shout “cunting fuck” quite loudly into our knees through gritted teeth. We’ve never had to go somewhere (kitchen) to get something (knife) to accurately display our anger with.

IN OTHER NEWS:
Oh, you know, just the usual filler piece about a dad allegedly KILLING ONE OF HIS FOUR-MONTH-OLD BABIES because of possible video game rage:

This one is a lie. It’s the paper suggesting that because they heard he got angry playing games once, that must mean he’s a killer. This is nasty and irresponsible reporting, and that’s why we read The Sun every day.