We’d give Lumines on PSP 9/10 compared to “all other games in the world” and 10/10 if we’re just talking about puzzle games. But that’s only based on about 100 hours of play. We might like it more, but we can’t think about opinions because all we see when we close our eyes are rotating squares.

We think we like organizing squares because it means we are in control of the squares. Being in control of and in charge of squares feels great because we’re never allowed or trusted to be in control of or in charge of anything in real life. Can any psychology experts confirm this hypothesis?

We’ve added “organizing squares into squares” to our CV’s hobbies section (along with cycling, going to the cinema and a lie about having written an episode of ‘Coupling’ for the BBC).

IMPROMPTU LUMINES PLAY GUIDE: That all-silver block needs to be dropped on the far-right, creating a block of six mini silver squares that will all disappear. The next block (three orange, one silver) needs to be rotated one step clockwise then dropped one square from the far-right so it makes an orange 4×4 cube on the left and leaves a spare silver square on the right, so the next block (silver/orange diagonal) can be dropped on the far right ‘as is’ to make an additional silver layer of two that will add on to the six we created in step one and will also then disappear. Then the game will make a “WHOOSH-OOSH!” sound and flash a bit so we feel like we’ve achieved something. This game really appeals to our near-autistic need to organize things neatly. THIS IS WHAT WE THINK LIKE ALL DAY IN REAL LIFE.

So far in 2005 we’ve played three* games that are any good. They are PSP Lumines, Xbox MotoGP3 and PSP Virtua Tennis. This means we’re going to have to send an email to people at Sony we haven’t spoken to for about three years asking if we can have a PSP for free. They’re bound to say no. Perhaps we’ll say we’re asking on behalf of Steve Boxer or Steve Hill.

*We also thought Full Auto was extremely ace, but wouldn’t like to admit to that publicly on “the blog” because it’s a game with cars that have got guns on that we’re supposed to sneer about.