…because every time one opens her mouth with more than five people present, the cause of “People taking women seriously” is set back by ten years. Or in the case of the new Harry Potter book, eight hundred and fifty nine years, seven months, four days and eight and a half minutes.

Bought it, read it on the train yesterday. The first spelling mistake is on page 42, the first grammatical error not long after and our brain was climbing down our throat to give our organs a good kicking by the seven thousanth instance of the word “Said.”

Sorry this isn’t about games or masturbation or mobile phones. We felt that special dispensation was required, as even by ROWLING’S standards this one’s what she might describe as “A fizzy-gravy firkin with a chuff chowder chaser” (along with anyone else who graduated from the Charles Dickens School Of Things That Sound Hilarious To Four Year Olds).