…seeing as it’s the only games magazine left we can take the piss out of without getting another written warning. The worst this lot can do is send us a stroppy email or post that we’re a cunt on the forum! And that happens every day so we don’t mind!

360 is LIFESTYLE! You can tell it’s lifestyle because the logo’s in white. After it sells no copies because everyone thinks it’s a car magazine that some kid’s dropped on the games shelf, they’ll make it look like a games magazine by making the logo red with a yellow dropshadow. Probably by issue four.

TYPO ON PAGE 12! “Quality, innovation and excellent are paramount”. Having a typo in the bit where you say how quality you are is a world-class balls-up. Theyve realy set they’re stal otu their! In issue two they should say this was an ironic joke that set out to lampoon other lower quality magazines, the sort of shite rags that would have spelling mistakes in the bit where they say how excellent they are.

AN IRONIC PANEL ABOUT WHERE X05 *WON’T* BE HELD! This is humorous lifestyle journalism at its finest! Hull! Ha ha! Yes, imagine if Microsoft DID hold X05 in Hull. The thousand pictures these words paint are all hilarious. Imagine J Allard in Hull. He’d get kicked in for looking gay within seconds! We can’t stop laughing at that mental image. There must LITERALLY be a joke every 60 seconds in their zany office.

DVD AND CD REVIEWS. These’ll be ditched during issue 7’s sales crisis emergency redesign meeting after the first ABC sales figures come out next February. It will be replaced by “Tips”, as everyone realises the readers don’t care if Mike Richardson likes Goldfrapp or not.

It’s not bad and could actually have been worse in several areas. Everyone thinks the design is adequate, but feels the copy could “do with some work” and no way should it be FOUR WHOLE POUNDS. We’d give it 5/10, but only because we can put it on expenses. If you don’t work where you can buy magazines on expenses, it’s more like a 3.

EDGE issue 154 goes under the microscope!*

*Joke for management.