This is Japanese opposition politician Yoji Nagaoka. His claim to fame, as of yesterday, is that he hung himself – because of “Concerns over postal privatisation.”

This is EXACTLY what we need more of. Do you even dare to consider the good that could be done if normal people were prone to indiscriminately committing honourable suicide? Imagine getting up in the morning to be greeted by the following headlines:

BILL GATES HANGS SELF OVER UN-BACKLIT SP OUTSELLING XB IN JAPAN

PETER MOLYNEUX CREATES COMPLETELY UN-BUGGED GAME, HANGS SELF FOR RUINING RECORD

(Ha ha, the very idea)

TRIP HAWKINS HANGS SELF ON GENERAL FUCKING PRINCIPLE

JACQUES: “ANYONE WHO LIKES ME CAN COME AND LIVE IN MY HOUSE AND DO MY LAUNDRY FOR ME AND CUT MY TOENAILS AND MAKE ADORABLE LITTLE LUNCHBOXES FOR ME FULL OF LITTLE SONIC THE HEDGEHOGS MADE OUT OF MEATBALLS WITH COCKTAIL STICKS STUCK IN THEM”

Actually, that last one was just a dream we had after eight hours of drinking Diamond White. We know that Sonic’s nose would be made out of an anchovy because we experimented with raisins, chocolate chips and those evil little oriental pickles that taste like crap. We were going to send it to Rich, but it went stale in the time we spent staring at it and trying to work up the courage to do it so we threw it out of the window and sat at the kitchen table weeping uncontrollably instead.