IT’S BEING WRITTEN BY ALEX GARLAND

Good or bad thing? Good = he wrote 28 Days Later. Bad = he wrote the novel which inspired the Leonardo DiCaprio date-movie-from-hell The Beach.

IT MIGHT MIGHT OH YES HE IS OH NO HE ISN’T BE DIRECTED BY RIDLEY SCOTT

It’s rumoured that Scott has seen the screenplay and told them to piss off. It’s further rumoured that the project was to be pulled unless Scott would do it. Now it’s going ahead. By the ancient laws of internet forum logic, there is only one POSSIBLE conclusion. (They’re giving it to Uwe Boll.)

WILL MARIA BE ATTENDING THE PREMIER?

Two at once!

She looks a bit preoccupied at the moment.

AND WHAT DOES HARRY KNOWLES HAVE TO SAY ABOUT ALL OF THIS?

That he imagines it as a cross between the darkest elements of Alien and Black Hawk Down, and that he wants a Twix.