This Christmas's must-have 'Present bought by boyfriend in the bin on Boxing Day'

Now, predictably, you can.

This is too much. We’ve only just flushed away the phenomenon of “Girl Gamer” websites getting an extra two hundred thousand hits every time they make a sly WINKY SMILEY reference to the Rez Trance Vibrator. Action must be taken to preserve our sanity. It’s time to retrofit the entire history of video games with shit blog referentialism so that we can pretend things were always as bad, then we can not feel the pain any more and just slip away.

I haven't TOUCHED your bloody Playcable Module!