Or, this week’s UK game chart. Sorry to do a chart update as they’re always really dull, but this one’s a bit interesting as it’s about last week’s two new Sega games — Sonic Rush and Shadow The Motherfucking Fuckhog.

The CHART OF SHAME doesn’t feature Sonic Rush, which came out on Nintendo DS last week and is the best 2D Sonic game since Sonic 2 (or even Sonic CD!). It’s the perfect Sonic game — 2D control with “3D elements” just like everyone said they wanted for Saturn, then like everyone said they wanted for Dreamcast. So Sega finally makes it, then no one bloody buys it! Ungrateful SCUM.

Look, the chart is huge and goes all the way down to number 40, but there’s no Sonic Rush in it, even at the bottom. We checked lots of times, getting increasingly angry and upset with each reading — BUT IT ISN’T THERE, just like daddy :(

That’s a DISGRACE. Not many people bought Shadow The Hedgehog either as it only made it in at number 25, which is a shame because it’s (a) by Sega and (b) not as bad as you think it is underneath. This is a dark day, even more darker than the normal days which are always dark anyway these days.

At least Sonic is taking it on the chin and not letting it spoil his fun. Incidentally, Sonic Rush really is extremely great. It’s like a cross between Sonic 2 and SSX Tricky, with Sonic having to “trick to boost” by doing tricks on rails and in the air to power up his turbo gauge so he can GO EVEN FASTER! This really does make Sonic Rush the fastest Sonic game yet! Our Nintendogs are probably dead by now, but we don’t care about them any more now Sonic’s back.