Only ONE MONTH AND THIRTY ONE DAYS TO GO! And a year. (Source: Gamestats.com)

Bollocks to it. We’ve waited this long. Another year won’t hurt, even if we have to spend it knelt on the floor gazing upwards with longing anticipation like a beautiful young girl, and Sega are a creepy 30-something man with a slight beer gut standing on the kitchen stool preparing to fling string over us (with our mouth open and hand held out so we can catch as much as possible to rub into our tits).

'I told her I wanted to give her a pearl necklace, but it went over her head.'

NO! Not her! We were only making a harmless analogy! She’s pure and innocent and would never do anything like that. Never. She’d only even CONSIDER it if was like a really good friend that she knew she could rely on and trust and would never leave her because they’d sent her pictures of their Nintendogs and the bus they used to take to work before the council sold out to Firstbus and they cancelled the service.

oh god richard it could have been so special why have you driven us into HER arms like this