Yeah, everyone’s being ironic and saying this is the best Xbox 360 launch game as a joke — but it really actually is! It’s an incredible “high score” shooter, one that also ranks you online against other players making it competitive beyond belief. All you do is rotate and shoot, but the range of enemies and speed of play is incredible.

It’s like 3D never happened and games are still about precise control and skill and fun!

ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLE HEADLINE: WARS! WHAT ARE THEY GOOD FORS? HIGH SCORES!

Our best high score so far is 520,035 which is very fucking awesome and our Gamertag is OXM Zorg if you want to check we’re not lying.

ADDITIONAL NOTES ABOUT 2005

  • It’s been the worst year for games since 2001, when Sega stopped really bothering and we were lumbered with first-generation PS2 shite. If it wasn’t for the Nintendo DS the year would’ve been the worst year for gaming since records began — and we nearly didn’t bother getting a DS at all. So thanks, Nintendo! You’re not the enemy any more! You literally saved 2005.
  • We never got round to getting God of War. Chances are we wouldn’t have liked it as much as everyone else because it would’ve been like Ninja Gaiden only different and therefore worse.
  • We haven’t got confused — this list is SUPPOSED to start at number four, because we can only think of four really decent games we played this year. And we must’ve played at least 50.