NON-PIRATE SPREADS EVIL LIES ABOUT GAME PIRACY
Certain “industry” people often suggest pirated games can damage your games console and can contain secret hidden porn that’ll turn your children into sex monsters.
This is a lie! A UKR spokesman (us) said (here and now) “most pirated games do work, usually are the full thing and a copied game has NEVER damaged any games machine we’ve ever owned”. We then went on to add “We’ve never found any secret porn *SAD SMILEY FACE* and it’s all just a big lie to scare parents into paying 50 quid for games in the run-up to Christmas”.
These sick lies about piracy MUST STOP.
THE TRUTH ABOUT PIRACY:
Not pirating games is COSTING YOU MONEY. Pirated games usually do work. You don’t fund terrorism by downloading games yourself through, say, Bittorrent, via, say, Torrentspy.com, then burning them to DVD with, say, DVD Decrypter set in, say, Write Mode. At worst piracy only funds the bloke you bought it off, who will spend the money on a new graphics card or more blank DVDs. If pirated games are rubbish, it doesn’t really matter! The reason non-pirated games are so expensive is because everyone’s a GREEDY CAPITALIST PIG who wants a better car – and YOU’RE PAYING FOR IT. Widespread piracy among the poor means they have more money to spend on alcohol and cigarettes, shaving up to 10 years from their life expectancy — saving the taxpayer money in the long run. Buying pirate games from market stalls helps keep Britain’s dying markets alive, helping us hold on to our national identity in these ever changing times. If piracy is so bad, how come companies are allowed to make DVD writers and sell blank DVDs? Making the 50 Cent game available for free will greatly affect its profitability, thus making the prospect of a sequel less likely. Downloading games yourself funds things like paying your Council Tax, which is a good thing! The only victims of piracy are shops that think it’s OK to charge 50 quid for a new game (Tesco, Call of Duty 2 on Xbox 360).
If you have any more “good things about piracy” please post them in the Comments bit (you have to be registered to post, which is a vain attempt to stop people posting porn, gay porn, Nazi porn and gay Nazi porn at the bottom of every article).
filed in Uncategorized on Dec.07, 2005
December 7th, 2005 on 3:41 pm
HA!
This is so going to get a letter of complaint from big boss of some company and you’ll feel forced to remove the article, or dum it down to a three lined one at least!
Shame, cause its funnier than my dog’s funeral.
December 7th, 2005 on 4:02 pm
how piracy is good – in a way :
Piracy killed the Dreamcast.
Piracy killed any chance of ever seeing a sequel to Rez.
Piracy will make psp more popular than DS and kill nintendo.
Piracy surely killed the chances of Sonic Rush being in the top 40 OK sales because people just put it on a SD card.
Piracy has been exploited by sony who made CD writers and blank CDs who perfectly worked on the playstation, thus making piracy on ps easier and killing the Saturn which was harder to crack.
Piracy is still killing small studios such as Oddworld Inhabitants who has been pushed to selling its ass to EA before Lorne Lanning completely gave up video games, or Double Fine Studios whose Psychonauts tanked on sales because everyone pirated it.
Piracy helps people testing games on their own instead of buying shitty magazines such as OXM.
Piracy helps MS selling more Xboxes to people who just want to play a pirated copy of Outrun2.
Oh yeah, Outrun2 tanked because of piracy, because no one wanted to buy a game whose longest run is 5 minutes long.
And so on and so on and so on and you get it.
December 7th, 2005 on 4:51 pm
Piracy is good! It’s funding my wedding. To dork.
December 7th, 2005 on 5:14 pm
It says on that AskAboutGames site that “Counterfeited/pirated games are often mixed with obscene or pornographic material.” That would be a good thing if it was true. It isn’t though.
December 7th, 2005 on 8:03 pm
I’ve NEVER, EVER found any porn on any pirated games/DVD’s/videos etc. despite the repeated assertions by the media otherwise. It’s a vicious fib I tells ya.
More’s the pity really – I’d much rather have watched some hardcore fucking than wasting my time on Revenge of the poxy Sith.
December 7th, 2005 on 8:21 pm
Piracy KEEPS the Dreamcast alive! :)
…or at least helping you *think* the Dreamcast is still alive, by downloading a ‘new’/obscure/not-so-great game every day :( :)
£20 for a Dreamcast then 200+ games free by BitTorrent from pirated games that even my cat could burn off… SEGA should start re-marketing it as such!
December 7th, 2005 on 8:33 pm
The guy who used to give me pirate games (in the dark days before my own CD burner) always through a copy of the Anarchists Cook Book on it aswell. I’m not sure if thats a good thing – but it did teach me how to make a floppy disk bomb !
December 7th, 2005 on 11:29 pm
Alright here goes:
1a) Piracy didn’t kill the Dreamcast – a combination of noone buying it and the PS2 did that.
1b) In spite of 1a, Piracy *did* kill DreamcastS, in that dodgy, undummied CD-R games caused the laser to burn out as it had to do more work as they were all burnt on the inside of the disc. This also applies to other consoles but some are better at coping than others.
2) Not many people actually have one of those Ninty DS SD card thingummies
3) PSOne games are harder to copy than Saturn games
4) Games that do badly don’t usually do so because of piracy – Beyond Good & Evil, Prince of Persia, Psychonauts, etc – they do so because they’re released side-by-side with stuff like Fifa Street or that 50 Cent game
5) Piracy didn’t kill Rez neither
6) The DS is kicking the PSP’s butt in terms of sales, with or without piracy and 5fps SNES emus and whatnot
7) Outrun 2 didn’t tank because of piracy – it just doesn’t have 500 tracks, 501 cars and 502 tune-up options like the new ‘hip’ racing games have
December 8th, 2005 on 7:02 am
For every pirated game you buy, 10 female game developers will be out of jobs.
December 8th, 2005 on 7:05 am
Every games that are downloaded illegally through bittorent will reduce Kieron Gillien’s sperm count.
December 8th, 2005 on 1:42 pm
Piracy means that games companies can’t afford to donate money to ELSPA so that idiots like Roger Bennett can make up stuff off the top of their head for a living.
December 8th, 2005 on 3:55 pm
ArrrRrrRrggh! Pirates be getting a good 4 sqaure meal a day on the good ship Piracy.
ArrrGgrrgGGggh!
December 8th, 2005 on 7:43 pm
LOL
I’m more interested in the funding terrorism one – imagine Bin Laden at the Sunday market selling PSP ISO’s or DS roms and stuff.
“America’s Most Wanted on BS2. Starring me!”
December 9th, 2005 on 1:25 am
“Every games that are downloaded illegally through bittorent will reduce Kieron Gillien’s sperm count.”
Awesome! Save me money on Condoms.
KG
December 9th, 2005 on 12:53 pm
Pirates live a lonely and often harsh life on the seven seas, full of privitations and humilliations; they *have* to wear an eye patch, have a bushy beard and wave a cutlass around in a threatening manner – often with little or no training. As for the parrot – who’d want a loud bird crapping on their shoulder all day long? I think it’s ace they’ve managed to diversify into games and films – although it’s gotta be harder to burn copies of disks at sea than on land…
December 10th, 2005 on 1:09 am
piracy killed my job and raped my mother!
December 11th, 2005 on 6:13 pm
Being a pirate is a misunderstood role in society. I personally spend most days masturbating and looking under old socks and stuff for precious blank DVDs.
December 12th, 2005 on 2:45 am
Actually, in retrospect piracy is helping speed up all our connection speed as we all clamour to the fastest line we can get our grubby, stubby little fingers on….
Telewest, Pipex, nildram, BT et all are making a fortune by marketing their connections based on the fact that you can get an 8 meg line that can download an MP3 in 30 seconds etc..
So to recap pirating games is why im paying £50 a month on my internet instead of spending it on the bloody game in HMV or GAME.
One last thing, who wants to spend £50.00 on a game then find out you have to spend another £40.00 a year to play it with socially defunct retards who disconnect when they lose.
Peace…
Blaze