WEBMASTER COMMENTARY: “We HATE mobile phone games! All of them! Even the Sega ones! They don’t ever work and are never fun. So we wrote this about mobile phone Quake, then didn’t use it because it only works on one not very good level.”

BONUS FACT: These fake screenshot things we did for a while last year nearly got printed in Maxim. But they decided not to use them in the end. That was a shame.


It’s a mobile phone game, so it’s obviously rubbish and doesn’t work properly on a stupid phone keypad. 1/5.

And people moaned about having to play Quake III on a Dreamcast pad. Mobile games are as satisfying as a low fat vegetarian starter, and we’d rather be “Happy Slapped” to death on a bus by a gang of 12-year-olds with penknifes than play one.