WEBMASTER COMMENTARY: “Even at the beginning of 2005 we were still writing things about Dreamcast! How sweet. We didn’t use this at the time because it seemed a bit like re-treading old ground, but still. It makes a good point.

This is the last rejected idea. We’ve got loads more rubbish ones we never used, but the line has to be drawn somewhere. A Dreamcast update seems a good way to end it all (we mean the series of updates, not our lives).”


Look, it’s there, right next to the PC so we can use it with the VGA Box. Scroll down to look, then scroll back up again, it’s important to read this in order.

All our other games machines had a fair run. A few years at the top, then a happy ending when they were spent and out-classed — EXCEPT DREAMCAST! It should still be on sale today. It should be, like, 89.99 with a copy of Metropolis Street Racer 2 and 79.99 for a standalone system. It just ISN’T FAIR!

COMMODORE 64, 1984-1992
A sensational eight years “out” for the C64, and it only got put away because it broke and we were 19 and starting to think that the reason girls hadn’t had sex with us yet was because of the computer games obsession thing. It wasn’t, but that’s a whole other update.

MEGA DRIVE, 1992-1997
Five years “out” for Sega’s hardware masterpiece. It got put away for the next Sega console, and because it was starting to take up too much room because of all the add-ons. That’s how it’s SUPPOSED TO WORK :(

SEGA SATURN, 1995-1999
The old Saturn was a failure, but still home to at least eight of the best video games of all-time. When it died we put it away for three reasons; (1) Because it died a brave death fighting Sony (it KNEW it would die yet STILL fought on) and deserved a proper burial. (2) We’d just spent £340 on an imported Dreamcast that was going to make Sega great again, and (3) Ian, who we were sharing a flat with at the time, only had one SCART socket on his TV.

DREAMCAST, 1999-20??
It’s STILL OUT! Where’s the CLOSURE? It had better games than PS2. We can say that now looking back in cold-hearted hindsight. Jesus, it STILL DOES. The mighty Ikaruga came out when PS2 could only offer us Need for Speed Underground.

It’s like an old, sick dog that can only lie on the floor and poo and wee on itself, but we JUST CAN’T PUT ROVER TO SLEEP. Is your Dreamcast also still out? If so, send us a photograph of it. We can probably be friends.