Well, everywhere if you pass an import magazine stand on your way to work, anyway. We were actually going to buy one of them, run it under the tap and then scan it in – you know, so we could do a joke “Torn porn found under the hedge” style update. Then we ACTUALLY FOUND ONE TORN AND SOGGY UNDER A HEDGE. Is anyone out there a Bhudda-ist? We need to know how much karma we just used up finding Sega porn under a hedge. We’re scared that tomorrow morning we’re going to be run over by a runaway bus driven by the dwarf from Don’t Look Now or something.

We found this on the blog of a fellow called cori95. Normally when we nick things we either decide it’s too risky or flat-out chance it. This guy deserves a link though (despite the fact there’s practically no chance of him finding us out) because as well as this TERRIFYING SCIENTIFIC ANALYSIS of Rinko’s mons veneris (complete with a miniature Agent Smith eyeing it up in the background), he has pictures of Maria on his site. Congratulations, UK:R Special Friend Of The Week.

Good thing: They’ve stopped taking photos of her slightly from the side in order to pretend that she’s not cross-eyed. This (further) allows us to construct elaborate fantasies where we meet her at a public event and her (obviously) low self esteem from her spacky-eyed-ness ends up with us both in a 25 quid hotel room, where naturally she’ll want to try her best out of fear of rejection.

Bad thing: We really, really, really want people to stop telling us what her “Real” name and “Real” personal details are. HER NAME IS PRINCESS RINKO AND SHE COMES FROM THE SEGA JOY PLANET.

Another thing we want: To wake up to this every day. Look at her! Cute, adoring face… sunshine and happiness shining from every pore… but still a little bit spazzy-looking so you’d feel a little bit bad showing her to your mates. SHE’S LIKE SEGA MADE FLESH.

Scantily-clad, underage flesh.