Let’s address some obvious male workplace issues by pretending they’re really deep and important and having a conference!

If anyone would like to sponsor one of these conferences, please get in touch. We’re ideally looking to spend at least five days in a nice hotel somewhere in America.

MEN IN HAIRDRESSING CONFERENCE
Men are MASSIVELY UNDER-REPRESENTED in the hairdressing industry. This is SHAMEFUL DISCRIMINATION! We must immediately discuss ways of making more men into hairdressers. For this conference we’ll spend four days in a nice hotel in San Francisco or Los Angeles, hedging around the really obvious fact that most men JUST DON’T LIKE being hairdressers.

MEN IN DEPILATION CONFERENCE
It’s a DISGRACE that the UK hair-removal industry isn’t composed of a 50:50 ratio between male and female workers. This five-day conference in New York or Washington DC will address ways more men can be FORCED AGAINST THEIR WILL into doing jobs they don’t particularly like just so that it looks more balanced.

MALE DINNERLADIES CONFERENCE
Why aren’t there more male dinnerladies? Is it because the men don’t like cooking and wearing hair nets much? It can’t be that simple! So let’s get lots of people to give talks about other reasons they’ve just thought up, for about five days in a nice hotel in Vancouver.

THE ‘WHY DON’T WOMEN LIKE PORN?’ CONFERENCE
Approximately 90 percent of porn viewers are male. This is UNBALANCED and discriminatory. At this conference we’ll force women to watch porn until they bloody well start liking it as much as we do. We plan on holding this conference in Paris, so we can use French porn. French girls are hairy, but thin and cute in the face.