THINGS WE’VE BEEN SENT FOR THE “MAIN PAGE”
Hey there, Sega Scouts! You’ve all been busy! We’ve had loads of email, and for once it isn’t all about buying Viagra from India, or getting a billion pounds from Nigeria, or removing that libellous update we did about that shit thing your company makes.
We’ve had emails about Sega! And games! And other things people think are the sort of things we might like to do updates about.
Anyone who’s emailed us something is now officially a UKR SEGA NEWS SCOUT. You may download this badge and display it on your blogjournalspace with pride:
Making text go in a circle in Photoshop is an exciting new thing we’ve just learned how to do. Here are the things we’ve been sent by the UKR SEGA NEWS SCOUTS recently:
THING ONE: FAKE PSP PROMOTIONAL VIDEO
“Hi UKR”
“This was up for a while ago but only via torrent — now it’s available via the magic of Google Video, wheeee! enjoy!”
THING TWO: A PIECE OF ‘NEW GAMES JOURNALISM’ POSTED ON IGN, OF ALL PLACES, WHICH WE WERE PRESUMABLY SUPPOSED TO RIP THE PISS OUT OF
“I thought it would be ripped to shreds already!”
‘NEW GAMES JOURNALISM’ POSTED ON IGN
THING THREE: ‘SEGA MUSIC’ WIKIPEDIA ENTRY
“Hi guys.”
“You may have already seen this and posted about it, but just in case you haven’t…”
“The music’s traditional form was largely improvised and was intensely emotional. It was also used as a funereal dirge and as part of traditional exorcisms.”
“Who knew SEGA had such magical powers?”
“Look at the woman dancing the SEGA too!”
“If you’ve already seen this and are already bored to tears of random peple sending this to you, then feel free to bin this immediatly…”
THING FOUR: ANCIENT SAKURA TAISEN ADVERT FROM JAPAN
ANCIENT SAKURA TAISEN ADVERT FROM JAPAN
“Had to pass this on”
THING FIVE: SEGA TOYS ‘MAKE-UP GAME FOR GIRLS’ COMING TO AMERICA
“Radica, the company that makes these stand-alone joystick only titles has signed a deal with Sega.”
HONG KONG–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Feb. 9, 2006–Radica Games Limited (NASDAQ:RADA) has announced a partnership with Sega Toys (a subsidiary of Sega(R) Corporation) to develop, manufacture and distribute Digi Makeover, one of the most anticipated toys to debut at the American International Toy Fair in New York City, February 12-15. Designed for today’s young teen girls, Digi Makeover includes a makeup case-styled touch pad with digital camera that plugs directly into the TV and lets girls take their picture and get creative with their very own makeover, including makeup, hairstyles and accessories.
Digi Makeover is expected to hit retail shelves in the fall of 2006 and will retail for approximately $59.99.
According to Jim Silver, editor of Toy Wishes Magazine, Radica’s Digi Makeover was one of the most talked-about products when industry experts saw it last October. “If the execution is done well and there aren’t any major problems with it, I can see it being a big hit this fall,” he says.
“Sega Toys continues to be a dominant force in interactive entertainment,” says Pat Feely, CEO, Radica. “We’re thrilled to be partnering with them and bring their innovative technology to this
product.”Isao Kokubun, president and CEO, Sega Toys notes, “As a leader in girls’ lifestyle products, Radica is an important partner to bring the concept of digital makeovers to the retail marketplace.”
The foregoing discussion contains forward-looking statements that involve risks and uncertainties that could cause actual results to differ materially from projected results. Forward-looking statements include statements about efforts to attract or prospects for additional or increased business, new product introductions and other statements of a non-historical nature. Actual results may differ from projected results due to various Risk Factors, including Risks of Manufacturing in China, Dependence on Product Appeal and New Product Introductions, and Dependence on Major Customers, as set forth in the Company’s Annual Report on Form 20-F for the fiscal year ended December 31, 2004, as filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission. See “Item 3. Key Information — Risk Factors” in such report on Form 20-F.
THING SIX: ANOTHER ASTOUNDING COMPLAINT ABOUT THE RETRO GAMING FEATURE, ONLY IT READS SO POORLY WE SUSPECT IT MIGHT BE A FAKE (AND IF IT ISN’T A FAKE WE GENUINELY FEEL A BIT SORRY FOR THE AUTHOR)
“Your Retro Special is a defilement to 1000’s of gamers world wide. To act like the old should of never existed only means that you have no respect to what brought games to what they are. BACK THEN and AT THE TIME, those games were top of the line in not only entertainment, but even technology. International Karate, along with Street FIghter 2, Mortal Konbat, and many more has given the fighting games of today a platform of exsistence. WIthout them, you may never even see your damned VF4 (another thing: VF4 is made up from the improvement of 3 other game before it. You wouldn’t have VF4 without even those 3 games).”
“Games like FFVII, Sonic 2, and Driver were the cream of the corn. They were the at the top, and the pinical, or the gaming stages before all else came along. Without FFVII, or even Final Fantasy 1! There may not even be a strong base for any existence of good RPG.”
“As for other poiints, sex in games was never a strong point outside of the virgin 18 year old players. Noone really cared for 1000 polygon girls as much as they did with the 200 pixel failure of Sam Fox Strip Poker. Cause they are all into real things, honestly.”
“oh, and the lack of back light during the Gameboy days. This factor was to cut to damn cost. Really good for those short on cash, cause those things like the GameGear failed based on eye hazzard, and for cost. the Back Light screens of the GBA sp and DS are a invention of price reduction in the economy. If you gaming in your hands for the go that wasn’t over 500 buck to have back in 1995, you’d never be bitching about the Gameboy not having a light. You’d have a flash light shoved in your mouth while under the bed sheets playing Pokemon for the 150th catch.”
“For fuck sacks, you’re got it made in the fucking sun with gamign to day. Respect the past, cause it’s hardships gave you this golden shove that is surgecly embedded in your ass!”
—
This is not an MTV commersial…– James
THING SEVEN: SOMETHING ABOUT ENTIRELY FABRICATED GIRL GAMING CLAN THE FRAG DOLLS (U.S.)
“I don’t know if we’re supposed to send in news about the Entirely Fabricated Girl Gaming Clan The Frag Dolls to you anymore in case you’re tired of the Entirely Fabricated Girl Gaming Clan The Frag Dolls.
“Just in case though, here’s a link where the writer appears to be unsure what’s sexier, Entirely Fabricated Girl Gaming Clan The Frag Dolls member “Rhoulette” or shooting Nazis in planes.”
SOMETHING ABOUT ENTIRELY FABRICATED GIRL GAMING CLAN THE FRAG DOLLS (U.S.)
“There, that’s got to be a contender for most extraneous mention of Entirely Fabricated Girl Gaming Clan The Frag Dolls yet!”
THING EIGHT: A LINK TO SOME BBC RESEARCH ON ‘GAMING’
“…whereby anyone who has accidently played a mobile game instead of pressing the shortcut for sending a text, or lent on the red button of their remote and played an interactive TV game in the last 6 months qualifies as a ‘gamer’.”
“Other highlights:”
“Playing a game of any sort once a week or more makes you a heavy user.”
“Sega Dreamcast is more popular than Sony PSP across the 6-35 year old age range.”
“66% of 6-10 year olds have played interactive TV games in the last 6 months. This is more than Xbox, Gamecube, Dreamcast and PSP put together. And more than mobile games.”
“I’m sure you could squeeze an update out of this report. And feel free to crib any of what I’ve written.”
THING NINE: SOMEONE’S COLLECTION OF BOOTH BABE PHOTOS:
“Now that the subject of the E3 booth babes is all over the Internet, here is a link to my annual boot babe pictorial to add to your list – the best to be found anywhere – every year – eight years running!”
THING TEN: A LINK TO A WEB SITE THAT SELLS ‘INTERCHANGABLE RECTAL UNITS’
“There’s got to be a joke in there somewhere, I’m sure.”
What a fitting way to end. Keep them coming, Scouts!
filed in GONZO on Feb.10, 2006
February 10th, 2006 on 1:49 pm
I’ve got all of those creepy man sega adverts… some are even weirder than that one
“SEGASATUR!”
*shudder*
February 13th, 2006 on 11:15 am
where can i get sam fox strip poker?