A crack undercover reporter braved being labelled a nonce by taking photos inside an arcade for us! This is probably the first time anyone has seen photos from inside the Brighton Sega Park, and judging by how deserted it looks, only about the 100th time anyone’s ever been inside it at all.

Our reporter wrote some captions, and we wrote some others. See if you can guess who did what in today’s interactive writing-style-recognition quiz! (CLUE: rape/paedo/murder/dying alone references = probably ours).


Tekken 5’s shit! Look at how blurry it looks! Ha ha! Stupid Namco/Sony!

THOUGHT PROCESS OF PHOTOGRAPHER: “UKR likes OutRun2, so I’ll take a photo of OutRun2. They’ll like that and then probably won’t call me a twat.”

Well-worth spending your dole money on. Support third-world slave labour, organised crime and impress your homeless life partner.

Mega Boxe appears to be some spinning/gambling cat-scan hybrid. It will no doubt give you some kind of incurable cancer.

A giant claw, always potential for misuse and so many opportunities in Brighton. Animals in captivity – never pleasant.

Apparently Brighton is full of hippies, students, and ex-students who can’t be bothered to leave. Hence we didn’t go there ourselves, and the only way we would go would be to contaminate the water supply with something bought on the former-Soviet Union blackmarket.

Can’t really tell what this is meant to show and if we’re supposed to be impressed by it or not. It’s hard being funny about other people’s holiday snaps.