And incredibly, you earn this respect by performing tasks for gang bosses and winning races. In a further refreshing twist, the money you earn may then be spent on modifying your car.

This is the press release for mobile Saint’s Row. We’d rather work in a meat factory that processes pig anuses into sausages, picking out the lumps of gristle from the raw pig anuses for 25p a week than have to write press releases like this as a job:

Innit :(

If you work for THQ or any other company that regularly writes words like ‘respect’, ‘notoriety’ and ‘gangsta’ up on its meeting room whiteboard, we’re here to help. Our confidential 24-hour helpline is waiting for your call.

IN OTHER AMAZINGLY DEPRESSING AND FRANKLY UNBELIEVABLE MOBILE PHONE GAME NEWS:
They’ve made a game about Bob Marley.