In America, at least, where it would appear they’ve now caught up with the jokes we were making in the late 1970s.

Thumbing it in

Modern ‘pads’ are much more dependent on thumbs than wrists. In fact, it’s pretty much nothing to do with the wrist at all these days – unless you’re a fat 45-year-old marketing man with no new ideas for weak sexual innuendo to sell your tat to some idiots.


  • “Push my buttons” – sounds a bit like turning a woman on
  • “Let me go on top” – split-screen gaming phrase that sounds a bit like a sexual position
  • “Waggle my stick” – by ‘stick’ they might actually mean ‘cock’ and by ‘waggle’ they might mean ‘masturbate’ or ‘rub’ even though no one uses sticks any more
  • “You came up my arse” – driving game reference that could also possibly also infer anal sex
  • “Let’s take turns” – possible roasting/group sex multiplayer misunderstanding with hilarious and/or sexual harassment in the workplace consequences.
  • “There’s a party in my pocket” – your new handheld gaming device is as much fun as having a wank