Obviously we didn’t go to the Tokyo Game Show, due to not being important, respected, liked, trusted, influential, reliable, popular or responsible enough. But we did the next best thing – we got someone who was going to take photos of all the identical little Japanese girl things!

As ever, we expected to get back maybe three unusable blurry photos taken from too far away using the most fashionable and very latest mobile phones. But no! Our ‘anonymous source’ totally delivered, saying he “felt like a right dirty old man at first but everyone’s at it” and that “they’re very forthcoming and don’t mind posing at all. Especially the cosplayers. They just love showing off and flashing their bits for the camera”.

Here’s the meat:

If you think we’re writing captions for 68 photos of girls with all the same smile you can go melon farm yourselves.

Six pictures in and the winner has already been revealed. You can go back to NewsNow or Kotaku, or wherever it was you clicked on this link.

We’d like to make a deposit in that lovely, soft bank.

If you click on these pictures you should be able to see a bigger version. We say should, as there’s no way we’re bothering to check that 68 links work.

Doesn’t that thing she’s doing with her fingers mean something rude? When we were at school it meant ‘put your tongue in me’. Mind you, that was in 1967 and times have changed a bit since.

This is the one we pondered over most. She’s weird looking, but extremely cute. Under proper lighting conditions she could either be amazingly hot or all lopsided and geeky.

Too westernised. 4/10.

Too much like a character from an American PC MMORPG. 3/10.

What a lovely smile! This photo must’ve been taken within the first five minutes of the show doors opening, before her delicate, butterfly-like soul was STOMPED INTO SHIT by 50,000 geeks trying to get a photo when she’s bending down.

This one turned out nice. Good sense of movement.

Getting one like that to consent is one of our ambitions.

Yes, there’s still lots more. This is the halfway point.

We really should learn how to do that thing other web sites do, where they have a link that says “Read more” that goes to a second page. It would add an air of professionalism that would surely see us ‘headhunted’ by Kotaku or Joystiq so we could do this sort of thing for money.

At the moment we do this for aggravation and legal threats.

Respect goes out to KOEI, for opting not to dress its booth girls in outfits influenced by fuedal Japan, and instead making them look like Asian prostitute robots from the near future.

More Asian prostitute robots from the near future. Roll on 2012!

Christmas, birthday, Christmas, birthday, Christmas, birthday, Christmas, birthday, Christmas, birthday, Christmas, birthday, Christmas, birthday.

This is a character from some Japanese game. It’s probably quite close to how she looks in the game.

Oh dear. This photo really needed to be not blurry. Still, you can get quite a good idea.

Even Japanese women can’t think of anyone else to cosplay as than Kasumi. The TGS organisers are banning Kasumis from 2007’s show.

We’d really like to get our hands on that – then fold it up neatly and put it in the cupboard with all our other rare SEGA t-shirts.

PROPER JOKE CAPTION: Rockstar’s Table Tennis has been redesigned a bit for the Japanese market!!

Sorry if you’re on a capped broadband service. You’ve just used up all of September and October’s allowance.

That’s it. That’s what happens to the “main page” when you put 68 photos on it. Hope you enjoyed it as much as we hated resizing everything and doing all the links.