‘VIRTUALLY ADDICTED’ – THE WORLD’S MOST RIDICULOUS VIDEO GAME TV DOCUMENTARY
In which nasty stupid children and parents blame everything on video games instead of, say, them being morons. It features such amazing lies as “kids don’t go to school any more” and “it’s more damaging than any chemical addiction” – and that’s just in the first 50 seconds!
Amazingly, this was a proper TV show that went out on proper TV in the UK, not just a joke some disabled-looking fat people put together for YouTube. Poor old Sir Trevor McDonald used to present proper news, not just made-up rubbish for morons like this.
The only thing we’d trust that kid’s mum to be in charge of is selling us some chips and a burger at 3.30am, and maybe cleaning our house, but only if we were there to make sure she didn’t steal anything to fund the buying of whatever it is she’s injecting.
In this one, some fat weirdo says he used to wee in a bottle while playing Xbox 360 and PS2 and Gamecube so he didn’t have to stop playing. He had a chair with wheels on so he could switch between the three consoles! That’s a great idea! We must get one of these ‘chairs with wheels’.
In this one a woman says her kid went paranoid and mad because of a game and then killed himself. That’s madness. It’s OK to kill yourself over something important like postings on an internet forum, but not over something as trivial as a video game.
This was on TV two weeks ago, so we’re really pleased with the speed in which we’ve turned this update around.
It carries on for half an hour. The above is the whole first ten minutes. Oh, and it would appear we are becoming one of those web sites that’s just a huge list of links to YouTube videos.
This is the second ten minutes.
This is the final 2.35 minutes. YouTube won’t let you do more than ten minutes at a time. It might get taken down when ITV sees it on there, so don’t blame us if the link’s broken when you’re reading this in 2009. The joke’s on us though, as we’ll be in jail after being made an example of by the copyright police.
EMERGENCY LOW-RES BACK-UP
When ITV does find out and makes YouTube take it all down because it’s copyrighted material for which we don’t own the rights or have permission from the owner to use, you can download the full file here. It’s 27MB, so don’t download it just for fun, else our internet will run out. We’re not a cash-burning internet start-up, you know.
filed in Uncategorized on Sep.29, 2006
September 29th, 2006 on 1:58 pm
I thought Australia was the only country with a “Current Affairs” show devoted to the lowest common denominator (Bogans), but apparently not.
These shows are great, it shows that no matter how bad ur upbringing was (thou daily beating with barbed wire cane never hurt my development) there is always some more incompetent that you.
September 29th, 2006 on 1:59 pm
STOP HAVING KIDS!!!!
September 29th, 2006 on 2:25 pm
How in the fuck is any parent “powerless” to stop their kids from gaming so much they don’t go to school? Aren’t these children living under your roof? Don’t buy them the goddamn consoles. Take them away and sell them if the kids get their hands on them anyway.
Or I suppose you could enable their behavior and find something else to blame, eventually earning some media reinforcement for your ineptitude as a parent. That would also work.
September 29th, 2006 on 3:19 pm
I reckon if someone made a game about peodophiles the entire nation’s daily mail readership’s heads would explode on mass in outrage.
And anyway what does ronald mcdonald know about current affairs?
September 29th, 2006 on 3:24 pm
These are “console-based” games. You simply buy them, and then you play them. They have many “levels”.
Players log onto “the web” and link up with players all over the world
There’s no “end” to these “so called” “new generation games”
Ahhh… the sweet smell of ignorance.
September 29th, 2006 on 3:29 pm
When my mother pulled the power of my computer without warning, I went mental. When this mother grabbed the controller without warning the kid went mental. Inevitably, when I grab the holo-controler of my kids’ futuristic ‘computer games’ without warning, they’ll go mental.
Geez! Give them a damn chance to save the game they’ve spent ten hours playing, or they’ll just have to do it again. Dumbasses.
And don’t even get me started on “being able to get help, maybe in Holland or America”
Christ on a bike.
September 29th, 2006 on 3:30 pm
I love the 30 seconds they give to the psychologist with a measured point of view.
September 29th, 2006 on 4:33 pm
Stupid cunting fuck parents – you and you alone are responsible for your gorram kids. If you’re that powerless you can’t stop them gaming, you’re a crap parent. End of
September 29th, 2006 on 4:53 pm
I really liked the reaction shot of the interviewer after mum tells about finding her son dead on a chair at his compy. Her brain just seems to have gone ‘Shake shake twisty bagels!’ for a moment.
September 29th, 2006 on 5:02 pm
Im hooked on gaming but at least it keeps me out of trouble, I think people get too anal about these things.
September 29th, 2006 on 8:00 pm
i don’t care if ukr turns into just a site with links to youtube shit – you guys made my day :)
ok i think trevor gets some credit, though, and i’m 100% sure the interviewer’s head-shake was added in much later on. if she was like me she’d have been giggling through the whole thing!
i swear when i’m a parent if my kids get naughty i’m gonna randomly delete their saves. that’ll teach the little gits.
September 29th, 2006 on 8:25 pm
I like how the kids could get help from their gaming addition in the weed smoking capital of the world!
September 29th, 2006 on 9:55 pm
would would wouldn’t would wouldn’t wouldn’t would…
September 29th, 2006 on 10:23 pm
Its true, videogames are addictive.
You’ll never guess how many handjobs I had to give to buy driver 3.
I felt dirty.
September 30th, 2006 on 2:56 am
Hang on, one of those kids was called Sparky, right? Fucking sparky? Videogame addiction is the least of the little shit’s problems.
September 30th, 2006 on 3:34 am
Im addicted to video games, im just not a lazy cunt and i get off my ass to go pee and shit, how these parents say they cant stop their kids playing is bullshit, its simple you just sell them if they are that much of a problem, one again video games get the plame, i bet jack tompson is creaming in his pants over this.
September 30th, 2006 on 8:06 am
Those parents (single-moms only?) actually rather go into a tv show to trivialise their own siblings before just cutting out the electricity.
That fact alone tells alot about their competence.
September 30th, 2006 on 10:32 am
I get irate at shit like this. I remember being pissed off when I watched it. Mainly because the program cut in between a two part episode of Coronation street. It’s all the parent’s fault. It’s easier to blame everything on a scapegoat, than to actually take any responsibility for anything…..plus they were all single mums who know fuck-all about anything. I bet they were all benefit frauds too. My tax probably paid for their consoles and games…..the fuckers!
September 30th, 2006 on 12:33 pm
Sparky…meh.
If she would’ve taken that controller away instead of playing with it and annoying your kid that way, it wouldn’t have happened. Send the little shit to the corner or punish him. Cutting the controller’s wire would’ve worked too. Also, who the fuck buys all those things? Not the kids.
Fucking stupid women.
September 30th, 2006 on 5:06 pm
I don’t think games have got owt to do with that little lad jumping around when his mum tried to take his pad away – I think it’s more to do with being a nowty, spoilt little cunt. I suspect he does that if he wants sweets too. Remedy? A fucking good hiding with a belt. That’s what I got and I’m a model citizen.
September 30th, 2006 on 5:58 pm
If a kid reads books for 4 hours a day the parents are proud, if he watches 4 hours of TV a day he’s normal, but if he plays games for 4 hours a day he’s a fucking addict who’ll end up shooting himself in the head. (See also: Rock & roll, gangster rap, metal, video nasties, Dungeons and Dragons, comic books).
Irrational, sensationalist nonsense.
September 30th, 2006 on 6:25 pm
Don’t generalise about single mothers, I was brought up by one, Yes, she is probably the sole reason I play games, giving me pocket change to play on arcade machines to get me out of her hair for a while, and buying me a 2600 to keep me quiet at home, but the difference being mine had the common sense to whap me upside the head if I was being a little twat…
And she probably still would now, and I’m 31.
The problem is nowadays, that parents are too damn scared to strike some kind of fear into their child, so they grow up to be lippy twats with no respect for their parents, let alone anyone else.
All you can hope is when they get a little older and act like that in the “real world” they’ll realise the world doesnt orbit around them and get kicked in the face by an angry bald man. I’ve done it once, and I’ll do it again.
September 30th, 2006 on 6:35 pm
This is why i don’t watch ITV (or any telly really) what utter utter shit. The tonight programme has probaly done more damage to the nation than all the video games and tv shows put together.
Will i go to hell for laughing out loud at the american woman who found her son had shot himself?
September 30th, 2006 on 6:53 pm
Fatty doesn’t even get left and right the right way round.
September 30th, 2006 on 7:18 pm
Its not the video games that are the problem, its the fucking worthless parents who wont even punish their children.
September 30th, 2006 on 8:47 pm
There was a similar press story recently, (in the mail) of a boy who shot his friend with his father’s shotgun after playing san andreas. His mother had happily gone and rented out an 18 game for her kid.
Of course no one at the mail thought to ask a) why his mother was giving a 14-15 yr old an 18 certificate game, b) why there was a loaded gun lying around or c) why he was such a fuckwit he’d think it ok to shoot his mate with a 12 bore shotgun.
Simplest answer is that the game perverted him, that way you look like a victim and not an arsehole and it sets you up nicely to sue the game makers.
We’re going to hell in a handcart, you couldn’t make it up.
October 1st, 2006 on 4:28 am
I know its been said about 20 times before me but crap like this really pisses me off.
First off i’l say that i do feel sorry for that american woman who lost her son. My guess is that he had some sort of problem and he used computer games to escape them, rather than them been the cause.
The way the interviewer procliams “When playing computer games, endorphins are released just like with a gambling addict or someone on drugs.” The truth is that endorphins are released when we smile, laugh, exercise or see a small child fall over, not just when on drugs or computer games.
Lets get this straight, YOU CAN NOT BECOME ‘ADDICTED’ TO COMPUTER GAMES. People who use heroin are addicts. There’s no fucking cold turkey from stopping playing computer games. As the ELSPA guy said “People should take responsibility for thier families and for themselves”
October 1st, 2006 on 12:05 pm
What are you talking about? Poor old Sir Trevor McDonald has never presented proper news. He’s always been on ITV hasn’t he?
October 1st, 2006 on 3:34 pm
Completely off the point of the post: THE SONIC THE HEDGEHOG DEMO IS NOW ON XBOX LIVE!!!!! Thank you.
October 1st, 2006 on 3:45 pm
“YOU CAN NOT BECOME ‘ADDICTED’ TO COMPUTER GAMES. People who use heroin are addicts. There’s no fucking cold turkey from stopping playing computer games.”
You can become addicted to videogames. You can become psychologically dependent on just about anything if you do it often enough.
Whenever there’s anti-videogame talk, there’s always a tendency for the pro-game response to go a bit far. Gamers tend to say that games have no effect when they obviously do; they’re just a tiny part of the whole rather than a sure-fire means to bringing up a spoilt brat/murderer/whatever.
October 1st, 2006 on 10:11 pm
theres a simple solution to this, dont give a fucking 4yr old a fucking PS2!!
October 1st, 2006 on 11:34 pm
If somebody gets addicted to ps2 then they had big mental problems in the 1st place :P
October 2nd, 2006 on 9:41 am
I haven’t seen any of these yet, but I can already tell that I’m going to want to mow people down in a hail of gunfire.
Maybe afterwards I’ll steal one of their cars and go on a “human slalom”, but one where I keep “accidentally” hitting the “flags” because I “like it”.
I’m so addicted to videogames that I will literally rape a woman to death so that I have to wipe my bloody cock on the nearest Ocarina Of Time cartridge.
Those people think their children have problems? You should see my engorged penis, it resembles Al Gore’s nose in more ways than two.
Sorry, I’m getting carried away.
Yes, people are fucking idiots, parents are getting lazier.
The kids don’t have problems at all, they love what they’re doing, it’s the parent’s whom don’t like it.
I hate you mum, I hate you so fucking much.
October 2nd, 2006 on 10:25 pm
When I finished Jet Set Radio, I was suddenly siezed by a desperate urge for the toilet mid way through the closing cut scene.
Since I couldn’t hold it in, and couldn’t pause the cut scene, I pissed in a vase.
My secret shame. Why can’t I comment anonymously?
October 3rd, 2006 on 11:34 am
Video games dont kill people rappers do.
October 3rd, 2006 on 9:33 pm
“Since I couldn’t hold it in, and couldn’t pause the cut scene, I pissed in a vase.”
That’s less a videogaming addiction, more indicative that developers should let you be able to pause cutscenes. There’s nothing worse than when you’re watching the final cutscene on a game, something you have just spent the last 40+ hours anticipating when someone walks in and starts talking to you. You can pause a DVD but not some compressed video file? Surely it isn’t hard to assign a ‘pause’ button to cutscenes? Especially if they use the in game graphics.
October 4th, 2006 on 9:35 am
That final shot of the little shit doing his homework disturbed me a little. It seems his mum got him to stop playing video games by stubbing cigarettes out on his arm.
October 7th, 2006 on 12:20 am
It’s still sad that people don’t take videogame age rating seriously
October 13th, 2006 on 1:04 am
There are so many holes in the arguments presented by this program.
In no particular order:
* “A new poll, conducted exlusively fo this program, has shown that 64% of children play 4 hrs of video games every day”. So, that means the researchers for the show, given their brief to prove a point, asked a small number of people who they knew would give asnwers in accordance with their mandate..Sratch that….They made that statistic up.
*These ‘addicts’ spend up to FIVE HOURS a day playing these games. Ironic that this is a TV program. Go and research how often the average family spends gawping at the TV.
* America is, according to this ‘documentary’, “The biggest games market in the WORLD”….Have they heard of Japan?
I could go on, but I’m way too addicted to my crack pipe to talk about addictions. Meh.
March 28th, 2007 on 5:22 am
Actually the US *is* has world’s largest consumer base for games…
But yea, wow. Yea, the kid has lost his job and has been antisocial (probably depressed) for his life, well, he must have killed himself over the GAME. Right.