But no way are we sitting through an hour of Vernon fucking Kaye and editing out all the worst bits to laboriously put on YouTube.


OK. Just the one. In this between-award segment, a girl sets out to prove that games aren’t just for geeks. She does this by going to a room that’s full of geeks and talking to lots of geeks, before the INEVITABLE interview with a girl gaming clan.

This one sums up the nightmare perfectly. The developer’s an amazing geek (no disrespect, so are we and our ‘target demographic’), the hostess hasn’t got a clue and the award presenter admits to not playing games at all. That’s why next year there probably won’t be a video game BAFTAs. Or if there is, it’ll happen in a small room and there won’t be any cameras and the trophies will be made out of LEGO.

In this one, the stupid woman says she’s only in it for the money and admits to knowing nothing about games. Poor little Rob from Nintendo does a good job of smiling and pretending it’s all going OK though! Well done Rob. Can we have a Wii? We’re going to say Animal Crossing Wild World is the best game of 2006 in a couple of months, so we deserve it.

Then, as you’d expect from an organisation that’s just ‘discovered’ games 25 years too late and think they’re new and exciting, they go through the whole “games as art” bullshit we got bored of at about the same time we got bored of mum giving us cheese on toast for lunch every day.

We can’t take any more. It’s all up on UK Nova as a Bittorrent to download, but is about as ‘worth it’ as PlayStation3 and ten copies of Lair.

When BAFTA, E4, YouTube and the council all gang up to have these clips removed from YouTube, you may download the files from here. We spent hours on this shit, no way is it all going to waste.

  • “My wife forbids it”
  • “Not geeks! (yes geeks)”
  • “I’m just here for the paycheck”
  • “Are games (yawn) art?”