And they/it sent us a copy of it, which presumably means we’re allowed to review it and they won’t go mad if we say it’s rubbish.

Hope we haven't broken Amazon's exclusive

It’s not rubbish, but also not as good as the book we would’ve written. But no one really wants to publish a million words with no full stops or commas about having anal sex with non-threatening female cartoon characters, so The Triforce would appear to have won this particular battle.

Bangai-O seemed rubbish for the all-of-five-minutes chance we gave it

We briefly flicked through it looking for factual inaccuracies to point out, but couldn’t find any because what the hell do we know about The Sims or Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy? This was very disappointing.

And OutRun2 is mentioned

It’s got Animal Crossing: Wild World in it, and OutRun, and Lumines, and Tony Hawk 3, so would appear to be on the right track.

More shame heaped upon Sonic

WRONG THINGS: Pro Evo 5 is the slowest and worst Pro Evo of them all, Rez is little more than waving your mouse around your PC screen while listening to some music you downloaded but don’t really like, and why isn’t Sonic The Hedgehog in it but Jet Set Radio Future is?

By gamers, for gamers!!

“THE GAME IS THE STAR” – this line could only come from people that have sat in numerous development and product marketing meetings.

Try before you buy!!

“The most fun you can legally have with your clothes on” is a line we would imagine was inserted by the publisher without the authors’ knowledge or consent, seeing as it really belongs in a 1985 Zzap! magazine review of Paradroid. They’ll probably say it’s meant to be ironic. Taking your clothes off also doesn’t mean more fun – it means being cold and feeling disgusted with yourself.

Still

Still, it’s nice to have, especially for free, and a rare thing we got sent that won’t immediately get listed on the mortgage payment war chest fund (eBay). Thanks. We hope we have stimulated debate and enthusiasm for the project.

AN INTERVIEW WITH ONE OF THE TRIFORCE
We sent questions via email to all three of the Triforce. David’s answers were abrupt and abusive, Simon’s cleverly highlighted the flaws in the email interview process, and Ste didn’t bother but said he would if we wanted. We said not to bother.

SO HERE’S SIMON’S INTERVIEW:

WHY ISN’T SEGA RALLY IN IT?
Because it’s not as good as Sonic The Hedgehog

WHY ISN’T SONIC THE HEDGEHOG IN IT?
Because it’s not as good as Daytona USA

WHY ISN’T DAYTONA USA IN IT?
Because it’s not as good as Streets Of Rage 2

WHY ISN’T STREETS OF RAGE 2 IN IT?
Because it’s not as good as Nights

WHY ISN’T NiGHTS IN IT?
Because it’s not as good as Phantasy Star Online

WHY ISN’T PHANTASY STAR ONLINE IN IT?
Because it’s not as good as Shenmue

WHY ISN’T SHENMUE IN IT?
Because it’s not as good as a Virtua Fighter of any kind

WHY ISN’T A VIRTUA FIGHTER OF ANY KIND IN IT?
Because it’s not as good as Pong