EUROPE AT WAR: THE FINAL PUSH
Thanks for your submissions and brave work, everyone. It’s been a pleasure. You have all made a difference.
When UK:Resistance is crowned King of the New Order, we will ensure that you are all given preferential treatment and shipped off to only the finest of labour camps, with the highest hygiene standards and most generous food rations. We look after our people, here. We will be a much better boss than the old boss.
THE FINAL PUSH:
EYEWITNESS REPORT: “I work in the centre of Sheffield and have been walking past this sign practically every day since Game started taking pre-orders. I particularly like the way that the store manager has had to put ‘Remember the Wii?’ on the sign to try and scaremonger potential customers into purchasing a piece of shit which they otherwise wouldn’t have thought twice about. Well, it hasn’t worked, has it?”
EYEWITNESS REPORT: “Find attached two photos I took today in Sheffield. Playtime in Sheffield is ADVERTISING it still has PS3s left. I went in to ask how many they had in the first place but they wouldn’t tell me. Sorry about the poor picture quality, I can’t afford a decent camera because I gave all my money to Sega back in 2001”.
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ABOUT ‘PLAYTIME’: “Playtime is an interesting shop because the owner can’t stand Nintendo and the other main guy who works there only buys Nintendo consoles. I don’t think there’s ever been a time when I’ve walked in and they haven’t been arguing about Nintendo. If only they would learn…”
“I work at Blockbusters and the past 4 weeks has just been a relentless push on pre-orders for the PS3. We were told that Sony could guarantee that every pre-order would be honoured. Blockbuster seem to think that they are bum chums with Sony. We can’t shift them for love nor money. In fact, the only 2 we have pre-ordered were from the same guy and he even told me that he was going to Ebay them to make a tidy profit. What a twat. As the launch date has been approaching and units still not being shifted in the quantities expected we were told by higher management to leave “two interesting facts that customers might not know about the PS3″ on the company voicemail that we could then pass on the grateful public. Frankly, most of the facts given were beyond lame. Example: Did you know that the PS3 is portable? You can move it about. Gee, thanks. Example 2: Did you know that the PS3 is multi-region and will play DVDs and Blu-Rays from around the world. Er, no it fucking well can’t. Honestly, it’s getting embarrassing.”
YES: Is the new PlayStation 3 doomed to failure?
ON THE SPOT REPORT: “HMV in the centre of Oxford has been advertising pre-orders for the last two weeks. Yesterday, they resorted to touting their pre-order allocation as some kind of reverse psychology incentive. Needless to say, the number was the same today.
“Meanwhile, Virgin across the street has also had a sign outside advertising its pre-orders for the last week or so. Doesn’t look like they’re having much luck either.”
“Just went to an eb games in auckland new zealand and asked them how many consoles they have left for pre order and they said only a few, then I overhear a conversation the manager has with another store and hear him say “it’s not going too well we’ve only had 30 pre-orders” so they are struggling to get rid of them over here… the ps3 is dead!!”
DENMARK!
ALTRINCHAM!
MIDDLESBROUGH!
NEWCASTLE!
ABERDEEN!
HULL!
HULL!
HULL!
HULL!
“Here’s some potentially interesting data that shows the complete lack of interest in the PS3 that I came across today. “The share of UK Internet searches for ‘playstation 3’ increased 14% in the past four weeks.” – Ha ha ha, totally toss.”
NEVER TRUST THE ITALIANS AT A TIME OF WAR:
http://www.gamesindustry.biz/content_page.php?aid=23664
“Speaking to GamesIndustry.biz, Virgin’s promotions and PR manager Stephen Lynn said he wasn’t disappointed by the level of turnout on Wednesday. “I’m delighted that we’ve got anyone at all, to be honest.”
“Thought you might be interested in a message I saw on a board: “Where I work, we originally started a couple of weeks ago with a sign that said “Only 12 PS3s left!” A couple of days later, that changed to “Only six left!” It is now sitting at “Only two left!” We have not sold any since the “12 left” sign”
“The PS3 Launch line up is so exciting that if you buy on a PS3 at HMV, they are offering you a PS2 port of a PSP port of a PS2 game that came out in 2002 for only £10! Assuming it runs on yo
ur PS3, this means you can be playing this great game for only FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE POUNDS – what a launch!”
That just about wraps things up.
filed in WAR ON PS3 on Mar.22, 2007
March 22nd, 2007 on 4:08 pm
“the sony blu-ray disc player – it also plays games!”
oh the hilarity.
and the grammar on that last one is horrendous. why the apostrophes?
March 22nd, 2007 on 5:02 pm
“and the grammar on that last one is horrendous. why the apostrophes?”
Think about it. They could only get a job at Woolworths.
March 22nd, 2007 on 5:29 pm
Nothing representing Liverpool? But we’re doing our bit here too! Just this morning I rode past someone taking an ironic photograph of a “pre-order PS3” sign!
LIVERPOOL HATES PS3 TOO
March 22nd, 2007 on 5:33 pm
did anyone else notice in the “PS3 bombs in hull” photo:
‘DO YOU HAVE A VALID STUDENT CARD? IF SO YOU CAN GET 10% OF THE NEW PS3 CONSOLE’
Awesome. I wonder which 10% of the unit you get? Hopefully it’s not the 10% that causes the rubbish backwards compatibility that prevents you from playing:
Gran Tourismo 4
Guitar Hero
Guitar Hero 2
Every Singstar except Legends
Final Fantasy X
Metal Gear Solid 2
Metal Gear Solid 3
Splinter Cell Chaos Theory
GTA San Andreas
(in other words, every ps2 game that would be worth bringing to a more powerful machine)
March 22nd, 2007 on 5:42 pm
On London Road in Brighton, Blockbuster have had a desperate sign up for weeks now which reads, “THE ONLY PLACE ON LONDON ROAD WHERE YOU CAN BE GARUANTEED A PS3 ON LAUNCH DAY!”
Across the street, opposite Blockbuster, there’s almost exactly the same sign outside Woolworths.
March 22nd, 2007 on 10:30 pm
just to put a shit up your arse you do know that the PS3 is going to sell out on day one Play.com say if they had a queue it would be 6 MILES long.
Amazon sell on every 20 secs.
UKR used to be a funny site now its a funny shite
March 23rd, 2007 on 4:15 am
Muftak, you um, do realize that the PS3 launched some time ago in Europe? Surely, you do realize that? And you recognize the fact that it bombed completely, right?
Okay, just making sure.
On another note;
FUCKING OWNED, SONY. I HOPE HELL SUCKS.
March 23rd, 2007 on 4:20 am
I’d just like to add:
hee hee :)
March 23rd, 2007 on 7:42 am
Mufty, don’t believe everything you read on the internets.
Gullible twat.
March 23rd, 2007 on 9:19 am
well of course it would have cost 10 million in 1990, technology moves on, durr! in 1990 my mobile phone would have probably cost a couple of million! funny how technology progresses and supposidly (but not in the case of the ps3) gets cheaper!
March 23rd, 2007 on 10:05 am
Sony also warned that it plans to “carefully consider all available options in relation to retailers who have commenced sale of PlayStation 3 prior to 23rd March 2007”
= they’ll get EVEN MORE ps3’s?
dypskefl – Norwegian term for Italian retailers who break street date promises. (fyi: dyp means low/deep/profound)
March 23rd, 2007 on 10:31 am
Looks like UKR didn’t fancy a report from France. SAD SMILEY FACE.
March 23rd, 2007 on 10:38 am
“The PS3 Launch line up is so exciting that if you buy on a PS3 at HMV, they are offering you a PS2 port of a PSP port of a PS2 game that came out in 2002 for only £10! Assuming it runs on your PS3, this means you can be playing this great game for only FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE POUNDS – what a launch!”
LOL! That’s ace.
March 23rd, 2007 on 11:24 am
Help me dig a hole so we can chuck in the stinking half-dead corpse of PS3.
C’mon, it’s the humane thing to do.
March 23rd, 2007 on 11:43 am
Haha, who put up the Middlesbrough pic? We were gonna do that!
March 23rd, 2007 on 12:38 pm
Cornish Resistance.. news from the frontlinee:
I just had a scout around in the local towns.
Local Indie: pre-orders = none, stock = 5, sold = 1.
Tesco: Stock = shitloads, sales = bugger all.
PS3’s in stock everywhere, zero buzz, clearly poor sales.
In a poor area you cannot expect people to be able to pay half a granf for a games machine and it is showing.
March 23rd, 2007 on 12:56 pm
its the same bastard tactics everywhere now, in my town i believe there was something like “only 70 left!” painted on the blockbusters window.
March 23rd, 2007 on 2:28 pm
About Italians in time of war : they are masters at backstabing their former masters too.
Yesterday, a moronic journalist wrote an article in the “Corriere della Sera” (first newspaper there) about how he felt very very pissed after he bought a PS3 (early) for his son and discovered that “none of our old games worked”. He’s very angry and writes that he’s going to sell it, no matter how much he loses, because he doesn’t want it anymore.
The article is still on first page today, and is in the top ten consulted articles.
Now, even clueless readers know how PS3 sucks.
Well, at least he got some money back with his crap article.
http://www.corriere.it/Primo_Piano/Scienze_e_Tecnologie/2007/03_Marzo/22/ps3_failure.shtml
(they added on Sony’s request an article “lot’s of Ps3 games on day one”)
March 23rd, 2007 on 2:49 pm
Yay, Altrincham gamestation!! They suck. They hate us loitering around in there on Mondays :P
March 23rd, 2007 on 7:57 pm
this is great! Just read on the “thelondonnewspaper” that the oxford circus virgin did not manage to sell out of PS3s over night!!!!
Even though
A: it is their flagship store and been publicised to death
B: Sony gave away 46″ HDTVs in the vain hope of selling the bag of shite out on launch
…god what a great end to the week !!!
Sony you are FUCKED!..you just lost another £250,000 with your TV stunt that backfired up your wide, lubricated arse!
March 23rd, 2007 on 10:08 pm
HUZZAH!
My brothers in the UK, the United States salutes you!
March 24th, 2007 on 3:29 am
I love how the Play advert in that newspaper photo used a picture of the prototype PS3 from two years back, complete with Batarang controller. Thought I’d mention.
I too am feeling quite chuffed at this spectacular turn of events and the way Sony are getting owned an infinite amount of times to the hard, solid earth for this. JOY. ^_^
March 24th, 2007 on 1:24 pm
marcus> thanks for spotting my entry into the war effort…actually the comment below the picture is not mine (NZ???wtf!)..my original comments highlighted what you spotted.
cheers
March 25th, 2007 on 3:01 am
HONESTLY I dont know what’s happening in Portugal. in a country where the mininum salary is 420€, 700 people gathered at wednesdays midnight to buy the PS3!I simply dont understand!!!assholes!I saw that on TV!!700!!
March 25th, 2007 on 3:04 am
just one more thing..according to a newspapper in Portugal on the first 2hrs 3.000 PS3 were sold at the price of 599 €!!!
March 25th, 2007 on 3:51 am
I looked at all those photos, and felt the deepest darkest evil crushing my soul :(