Thanks for your submissions and brave work, everyone. It’s been a pleasure. You have all made a difference.

When UK:Resistance is crowned King of the New Order, we will ensure that you are all given preferential treatment and shipped off to only the finest of labour camps, with the highest hygiene standards and most generous food rations. We look after our people, here. We will be a much better boss than the old boss.

THE FINAL PUSH:

PS3 BOMBS IN SHEFFIELD

EYEWITNESS REPORT: “I work in the centre of Sheffield and have been walking past this sign practically every day since Game started taking pre-orders. I particularly like the way that the store manager has had to put ‘Remember the Wii?’ on the sign to try and scaremonger potential customers into purchasing a piece of shit which they otherwise wouldn’t have thought twice about. Well, it hasn’t worked, has it?”

PS3 BOMBS IN SHEFFIELD

EYEWITNESS REPORT: “Find attached two photos I took today in Sheffield. Playtime in Sheffield is ADVERTISING it still has PS3s left. I went in to ask how many they had in the first place but they wouldn’t tell me. Sorry about the poor picture quality, I can’t afford a decent camera because I gave all my money to Sega back in 2001”.

PS3 BOMBS IN SHEFFIELD

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ABOUT ‘PLAYTIME’: “Playtime is an interesting shop because the owner can’t stand Nintendo and the other main guy who works there only buys Nintendo consoles. I don’t think there’s ever been a time when I’ve walked in and they haven’t been arguing about Nintendo. If only they would learn…”

PS3 BOMBS IN VIRGIN

“I work at Blockbusters and the past 4 weeks has just been a relentless push on pre-orders for the PS3. We were told that Sony could guarantee that every pre-order would be honoured. Blockbuster seem to think that they are bum chums with Sony. We can’t shift them for love nor money. In fact, the only 2 we have pre-ordered were from the same guy and he even told me that he was going to Ebay them to make a tidy profit. What a twat. As the launch date has been approaching and units still not being shifted in the quantities expected we were told by higher management to leave “two interesting facts that customers might not know about the PS3″ on the company voicemail that we could then pass on the grateful public. Frankly, most of the facts given were beyond lame. Example: Did you know that the PS3 is portable? You can move it about. Gee, thanks. Example 2: Did you know that the PS3 is multi-region and will play DVDs and Blu-Rays from around the world. Er, no it fucking well can’t. Honestly, it’s getting embarrassing.”

PS3 BOMBS IN CARDIFF

YES: Is the new PlayStation 3 doomed to failure?

PS3 BOMBS IN OXFORD

PS3 BOMBS IN OXFORD

ON THE SPOT REPORT: “HMV in the centre of Oxford has been advertising pre-orders for the last two weeks. Yesterday, they resorted to touting their pre-order allocation as some kind of reverse psychology incentive. Needless to say, the number was the same today.

PS3 BOMBS IN OXFORD

“Meanwhile, Virgin across the street has also had a sign outside advertising its pre-orders for the last week or so. Doesn’t look like they’re having much luck either.”

METRO - NO CLUE

“Just went to an eb games in auckland new zealand and asked them how many consoles they have left for pre order and they said only a few, then I overhear a conversation the manager has with another store and hear him say “it’s not going too well we’ve only had 30 pre-orders” so they are struggling to get rid of them over here… the ps3 is dead!!”

PS3 BOMBS IN DENMARK

DENMARK!

PS3 BOMBS IN ALTRINCHAM

ALTRINCHAM!

PS3 BOMBS IN MIDDLESBROUGH

MIDDLESBROUGH!

PS3 BOMBS IN NEWCASTLE

NEWCASTLE!

PS3 BOMBS IN ABERDEEN

ABERDEEN!

PS3 BOMBS IN HULL

HULL!

PS3 BOMBS IN HULL

HULL!

PS3 BOMBS IN HULL

HULL!

PS3 BOMBS IN HULL

HULL!

THUNDERBIRD - SPEAKS THE TRUTH

“Here’s some potentially interesting data that shows the complete lack of interest in the PS3 that I came across today. “The share of UK Internet searches for ‘playstation 3’ increased 14% in the past four weeks.” – Ha ha ha, totally toss.”

NEVER TRUST THE ITALIANS AT A TIME OF WAR:
http://www.gamesindustry.biz/content_page.php?aid=23664

PS3 - ABANDONED IN NEW YORK

“Speaking to GamesIndustry.biz, Virgin’s promotions and PR manager Stephen Lynn said he wasn’t disappointed by the level of turnout on Wednesday. “I’m delighted that we’ve got anyone at all, to be honest.”

PS3 - BOMBS IN CHESTERFIELD

“Thought you might be interested in a message I saw on a board: “Where I work, we originally started a couple of weeks ago with a sign that said “Only 12 PS3s left!” A couple of days later, that changed to “Only six left!” It is now sitting at “Only two left!” We have not sold any since the “12 left” sign”

PS3 - SHOP DESPERATION

“The PS3 Launch line up is so exciting that if you buy on a PS3 at HMV, they are offering you a PS2 port of a PSP port of a PS2 game that came out in 2002 for only £10! Assuming it runs on yo
ur PS3, this means you can be playing this great game for only FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE POUNDS – what a launch!”

QUICK! TRY ANOTHER ANGLE TO SELL SOME!

IDIOTS

THE END

That just about wraps things up.