This week, Chart Track has decided to officially say that last week’s top-selling PS3 game sold 6,899 copies in the UK.

That’s 6,899 copies of Motorstorm, the game most people would surely buy alongside the pointless console. Expect analysts to say this is a “TOTAL DISASTER”, as it is clearly a total disaster. And with Singstar the only half-decent PS3 exclusive coming this side of Christmas, it’s going to get worse.

Here’s a photo someone took of a PS3 at a car boot sale. It seems appropriate:


The enemy has suffered huge losses and is now in full retreat. We will be raising the orange/blue spiral victory flag above Sony’s ridiculously expensive Soho offices within weeks, when the struggling company axes more staff and relocates to a Portakabin in Swindon.