A BLACK T-SHIRT, FOR PEOPLE WHO ONLY LIKE AND WEAR BLACK T-SHIRTS
We have made another t-shirt. It’s black and about Sony being fucked. It’s a celebration in 100-percent cotton. We’ve only got 50 of them done, so once they’re gone, they’re gone. Buy them here.
If we sell just twelve of these t-shirts we’ll have made more profit out of PlayStation3 than Sony and all third-party PS3 software publishers.
To make room for this future unsold stock, we’ve made all our unwanted, wrong-colour stock of old shirts 12 quid each. There is only limited room in our t-shirt/bike/porn/hostage storage cupboard. Our apologies to the two people who bought one in the last month.
These new ones are 14 Mighty English Pounds each, and that includes postage, even if you live somewhere far away that costs three quid to send it to. You also get a free envelope customised with your address written on it, plus a label in the back of the neck of each shirt that conveniently tells you what size it is.
Here, we put two oranges inside the shirt to simulate what it might look like if a girl was wearing it. It wasn’t very arousing, and just made ‘things’ seem worse.
If you work for Sony Computer Entertainment or Chart Track you can have one for free. Just email in from your work address, asking nicely, and saying that UKR is the best site on the whole internet, even including Pornotube and Torrentspy, and that it “brightens up your day” with its “accurate reporting of sales figures and public opinion”.
This is pretty much just a vanity project so we have one to wear around the house. We’re not expecting anyone to actually buy one.
AN EXPLANATION OF THE DESIGN
“RIP” is in an approximation of the PlayStation3 font, which means PS3/Sony is dead. “2007-2007” is the year PS3 was born and subsequently died in Europe. You know, like a gravestone. “United in Resistance” is just a thing we put on as it sounded nice and sort of linked back to the site.
The only downside we can think of this design is people might think you’re viral-marketing Spider-Man 3, a film so bad it managed to travel back in time and rewrite history to make the first film rubbish as well.
filed in ENTHUSIASM on May.11, 2007
May 11th, 2007 on 2:35 pm
I’d buy it if it weren’t in black.
Yak yak!
May 11th, 2007 on 2:58 pm
Spider-man 3 was hilarious! I’d watch it again just for Stan Lee and Bruce Campbell making a mockery of the entire genre (again)!
May 11th, 2007 on 2:59 pm
One of these would piss the girlfriend off royally. She has issues dealing with my “obsessive hate” for Sony.
Unfortunately, having a girlfriend also means I don’t have £14 to spend on a t-shirt. Women are leeches like that.
May 11th, 2007 on 3:29 pm
Do what ive done, buy it and dont tell them, looking forward to getting my new T-shirt and wearinging it with pride whilst i play on my dreamcast and saturn.
syslmsta = A rastafarian system (poor i know i could be bothered to think of anythin smart)
May 11th, 2007 on 5:32 pm
Why couldn’t it have been something clever, like Sonic’s hand flushing a bog, and the spiralling water being the Dreamcast logo, with the PS3 and Ken Kutaragi swirling around the bowl?
blpfbzte: the sound your anus makes the morning after a large murghi massala, 2 peshwari naans and 12 pints.
May 11th, 2007 on 6:39 pm
You ordered Medium sizes? Error.
May 12th, 2007 on 1:30 am
Why isn’t there a small? Fuckin’ fatties.
May 12th, 2007 on 1:52 pm
Oh it wont cover my tits!
May 12th, 2007 on 4:40 pm
Have you got clearance for the font? We had a nightmare getting it licensed a few weeks ago, cost an arm and a leg in the end =[
Wear one in court
bemuf
May 12th, 2007 on 6:28 pm
using an ‘approximation’ of a font wont be a copyright infringment. Especially seeing as there is no actual direct reference to PS3 on the shirt.
Wear it in the bath.
May 13th, 2007 on 2:02 pm
I’m not fucked about copyright – our problem was a client WANTED that font for something not related to anything, we had to license it from the author. Who happens to be in Sony’s stinking fat pockets.
And considering how anti sony this site is, I’d hate for them uk:r to get stomped. And an “approximation” won’t wash as it is really rather identical.
May 13th, 2007 on 3:51 pm
It won’t wash? Why, I can clearly see that it’s coming out of a washing machine in the last picture.
So…maybe therefore it isn’t an approximation and is the real deal.
Which then means Zorg could be in trouble for copyright infringement of something ‘really rather identical’?
Quick – Someone buy them all to hide the evidence!
pcteez=Girl on webcam with T-shirt that fits
May 13th, 2007 on 4:16 pm
discoloured? I got my Spiel Macht Frei shirt through the other day, and the colour is a pleasant blood-like darkish red.
mnbfqhy – the last screams of a man being suffocated by breasts
May 13th, 2007 on 7:49 pm
I’ve got a PS3 copy of Oblivion that I’m peddling on eBay, and the Official PS Magazine quote on the back is hilarious: “If any game is worth the price of the PS3, Oblivion is it.” As if it hasn’t been out for a year on a machine half the fucking price.
btw, if anyone wants a free XL size Spiel Macht Frei shirt let me know, cos it’s more like a smallish L in actual fact and Zorg won’t give me my money back.
phistete: an expert at phisting.
rophyst: a date-rape aficianado
May 13th, 2007 on 9:32 pm
when are they shipping? I ordered mine 2 days ago, it STILL hasnt arrived.. This is the sort of shoddy customer service I’d expect from SONY, not from our good fiend Cmdr Zorg
May 13th, 2007 on 11:25 pm
flaphaven, you’ve seen that advert too, eh? It polluted the last issue of Total Film as well (the hardened Oblivion geeks at UESP.NET are no doubt spinning in their basements over the wanky OPSM ‘background story’ of how your character ended up in the prison you start in) and it made me cringe.
Buying a t-shirt off a website is always a risk. I bought an XL off chavscum.co.uk and it’s just about right for someone 6’2″ 180lbs. My friend bought a Megatokyo t-shirt and was branded a pariah forever.
tremcnyd: A town in the Rhymney valley where all the girls are called ‘Gemma’ and take it fudgeways
May 14th, 2007 on 10:52 am
God help me I’ve bought one.
word verification:
oupba: a Yorkshire varation of football and basketball.
May 15th, 2007 on 9:22 am
The good thing about a T-shirt like that is that anyone that takes the piss out of you for wearing is equally as much of a geek as you are, seeing as they know what it references.
xzwthsm – a porn star sneezing immediately after a lengthy bukkake sequence.
May 15th, 2007 on 9:35 am
It’s a geek identifier t-shirt. if anyone laugh or smile while looking at it, you know he is a geek xD
nndjui: codename for the new sega console, it has 6 letters like katana and saturn.
May 15th, 2007 on 10:50 am
i bought it yesterday. couldn’t decide on medium or large (i’ve got a medium tshirt from scotland that says ‘a wee moose’ with a picture of a little mouse. it’s wicked but strangulates me), but ended up getting large just to be on the safe side.
i also got the sega vest. i can’t wait for them!
pfmtxytw: hopefully the tracking number for the tshirts. but i bet ukr’s cheap and uses 2nd class standard.
gits.
May 15th, 2007 on 2:11 pm
Great stuff, i ordered one a few days ago but haven’t heard back in any way, shape or form. Does this mean i’ve missed the boat? :(
May 16th, 2007 on 12:16 pm
Patience is a virtue. It’ll arrive forthwith I’m sure!
Or Zorg is in an alcohol induced coma from splashing out on the money all us gullible cunts sent. :)
May 16th, 2007 on 3:15 pm
Well, he’s just bought another bottle of Vodka and a kebab because i recieved a paypal confirmation of the money going out. :)
May 16th, 2007 on 11:53 pm
Urban reflex,
If your girlfriend can’t deal with your “obsessive hate” for Sony, then your worst issue is not that you have no money, is that you were born with mental retardation.
May 23rd, 2007 on 11:58 pm
Hmm, I bought mine over a week ago through Paypal and I haven’t heard anything since. Please tell us!
May 24th, 2007 on 9:38 am
Turned up last night. /
Yay, now for a summer of fanboi baiting and Sony Griefing.
May 25th, 2007 on 4:13 pm
How could I ever doubt you, UK Resistance! My lovely t-shirt of truth arrived yesterday. Can’t wait to wear it down Great Malborough Street :-)