IN2GAMES HAS HAD AN IDEA ALL OF ITS OWN!
The idea is to use motion controllers to control a range of sport and puzzle games. This sort of innovative idea could really take off. Here are some photos of buffoons illustrating devices.
This man is bowling. He goes bowling to meet hot chicks, who can’t control themselves when they see his monkey-like grin and over-engineered trainers.
This is a woman doing some tennis. She seems to be having fun, despite holding an awful-looking bit of plastic. They could’ve got some sexy whites for her to wear… *remembers Emily Booth in that episode of Bits*
Golfing. This is why women shouldn’t be allowed in male sporting institutions – those shoes would cause substantial damage to the greens.
Pooling twat.
This is the device that controls puzzle games. More importantly, you can see her bra.
And this is what every man looks like when trying to make a small plastic steering wheel look exciting. It simply cannot be done. Nice balancing work, mind.
filed in Uncategorized on Aug.17, 2007
August 17th, 2007 on 4:01 pm
Looks like it’s gonna be expensive with that many different controllers …
August 17th, 2007 on 4:11 pm
I was going to comment on how the foreign chick has a pumpkin for a face, but that guy on the end with the wheel looks positively moronic. Why would you pick his stupid mug over all the others in the model agency’s Pretty Boy catalogue? Is ‘developmentally challenged’ the new black? They’ll be using Toby jugs to advertise champagne next, you see.
August 17th, 2007 on 4:38 pm
Western thing holding is really going down the drain these days.
August 17th, 2007 on 5:47 pm
The guy at the end looks stupid because somebody has glued 2 left legs together and stuck them over where his real legs should be.
August 17th, 2007 on 6:05 pm
Wouldn’t, would, would, wouldn’t, wouldn’t, would, and would.
But just because I feel bad for that last fellow.
August 17th, 2007 on 6:44 pm
You realise in2games was doing motion sensing games on their gametrak system (which incidentally is much more accurate than a wiimote) way before wii came out?
August 17th, 2007 on 7:16 pm
@lopez
That may be so, but looking at the images above its clear why they sucked before and why they will suck again. I see them sucking long into the future while the Wii stomps all over their sorry asses.
August 17th, 2007 on 7:19 pm
I want a huge ‘virtual’ bat where I can batter people to death ‘virtually’ and then put their ‘virtual’ corpses in my ‘virtual’ freezer. Now thats entertainment.
August 17th, 2007 on 8:09 pm
how is the stupid tart in number 2 going to play tennis when her tennis club has no strings.
duh.
August 17th, 2007 on 11:13 pm
lopaz said…
You realise in2games was doing motion sensing games on their gametrak system (which incidentally is much more accurate than a wiimote) way before wii came out?
Yeah but every Wii comes with a motion sensitive controller. These will be as crap as the gametek. At least with the Wii you don’t end up looking like a Japanese Anime bondage victim with a skipping rope end stuck up her bottom.
August 17th, 2007 on 11:13 pm
I’m sure the Asian Persuasion (with giant hair!) and the Tennis Tart can think of better uses for those implements. Together, in a video, on Empornium by next week please.
gnepyto: Gepetto’s dyslexic brother.
August 17th, 2007 on 11:31 pm
@lopaz: Haha. You’re funny.
Can we have more photos of the Asian girl please? Or any Asian girl, for that matter?
August 17th, 2007 on 11:39 pm
In one of the pictures the mexican girl with big hair has an excellent drop shadow over the guy proving both of them are merely two dimensional.
Flatlanders.
August 18th, 2007 on 12:30 am
“That may be so, but looking at the images above its clear why they sucked before and why they will suck again. I see them sucking long into the future while the Wii stomps all over their sorry asses. “
Fairy-doos, but it’s a bit mean to subtly imply that they’re idea thieves when really they were doing it to be first, only to have Nintendo shit on everything they do
August 18th, 2007 on 5:10 am
Shit, why do I feel sore just by looking at all these people? did they PhotoShop different limbs onto them or something?
pgrkz: Sounds of a dying man with their mouth wired shut.
August 18th, 2007 on 4:15 pm
A resounding *Wouldn’t any of ’em*..
That girl in three and five looks like a creepily cheerful homicidal gnome. My advice: be wary, or she’ll eat the soft parts of your face while you’re sleeping.
August 19th, 2007 on 5:51 pm
Just because their technology doesnt suck as much as Nintendo’s does, they deserve to have at least some success. Just not gonna happen.
August 20th, 2007 on 12:32 pm
The only way they could coerce this group from the ‘special’ gamers institute, was by promising they could keep their toys aftwards. Back on the bus class.
September 6th, 2007 on 11:52 pm
nintendo had the first motion sensing to my knowledge… the power glove!
and honestly most o the stuff look like the wiimote grips that you can get at game (tennis racket, golf club, steering wheel. behold my wikiness
September 6th, 2007 on 11:54 pm
the golf club, tennis racket and steering wheel are all copies of wiimote holders from game (dunno who makes em) and nintendo had first motion sensing with the powerglove