This is the current depressing state of the UKR email inbox. One photo of an unofficial Sonic painting endorsing a Brazilian game store, a man with a tattoo that looks a bit like a Dreamcast logo, plus a weird transexual Sonic cosplay photo that probably deserves an update all of its own – and a criminal investigation into its origins.

Jogos: Games, in whatever language the Brazil people do

WHO WOULD THINK ABOUT THIS? “A store of video games in the city of Recife, Brazil. Sonic announcing games of PlayStation, who would think about this!”

Spiral of life

COSTA DEL TWAT: “I was on holiday in Spain and saw this dude walking around with a Dreamcast logo on his back. Although I generally avoid taking photographs of topless blokes, I found this funny. I’m guessing he didn’t realise it was a Dreamcast logo and he thought it was just some artsy shit. But anyway, thought you might like to take the piss out of it. Cheers, Chris.”

Sonic cosplayer - genital configuration UNKNOWN

This one arrived with no explanation. Which is annoying, as it’s the one that most needs explaining, particularly about if it’s a boy or a girl under that embarrassing mess. It’s unlikely to matter in the long term, though, as the chances of anyone being interested in the genital configuration of a Sonic cosplayer are extremely remote. We’re going for girl, as they would appear to be the flabby, untoned upper arms of a female gamer.

Sonic cosplayer - genital configuration UNKNOWN

Here it is again, just in case you missed it or your eyes/brain blocked it out.