SOMETHING VERY ODD HAPPENED ON MONDAY INVOLVING SONIC AND SOME WOMEN AND SOME BOUNCY CASTLES
The photos are online over at SEGA Europe’s Flickr account. There’s a quite unnecessary 15 pages of pictures like this:
SEGA had a special day for special people, to promote the Sonic/Mario Olympic game. We were not invited. Had we been invited we would have made up an excuse not to attend, so it was for the best.
This is why we wouldn’t have attended. There is nothing worse in the entire world than being forced to wear someone else’s clothes then being forced have fun, while someone takes photos you know damn well are going to end up on the internet. It’s modern-day torture.
We like to imagine a few of the attendees were thinking “I hope those photos of me in the stupid hair don’t end up on UKR.”
At least there was some of this. This means the game’s going to get in The Sun so should sell more copies than, say, Virtua Fighter 5 on Xbox 360, which didn’t make it into the top FORTY this week (despite the UKR reference hidden within it).
We can also take pleasure in the fact that Sonic appears to have larger genitals than Mario. In fact, Mario looks like he’s got more of a camel toe.
Whoever was inside the Sonic costume got a bit carried away by the excitement of it all, though.
This is not helping Sonic look any cooler. Mario seems quite ashamed to be near the imbecile in the blue costume.
Too much. Too much of the hands and legs. Too much everything.
He just won’t stop. Someone from SEGA Japan ought to have been on hand to stop the man in the Sonic costume ruining 15 years of good work. You couldn’t even punch him in the face, as it wouldn’t hurt with all that padding.
Is this why some people hate Sonic?
And you thought brand Sonic didn’t have any kudos left to lose.
This is what happens when you get drama students to wear the costumes.
That’s Stuart Hall. He was amazingly famous in the 1970s and early 1980s, so famous that some of his fame still survives to this very day.
Here, Mr Hall is groping one of The Sun girls through her costume. He probably can’t feel anything though.
Add this scene to the list of reasons why we tend not to reply to emails about press events for web sites.
There was a moment when it looked like the whole day was going to be a PR DISASTER as a man NEARLY DIED.
But at least one person had fun.
filed in Uncategorized on Nov.07, 2007
November 7th, 2007 on 4:05 pm
I was wondering when you’d mention your appearance in VF5. I ended up facing one “Zorg” Kage player in a lower arcade in Quest Mode and had my suspicions. However, they were confirmed in a tournament where I faced another Kage in the final with the name “Cmdr Zorg”, and the PR comment “Logic Error: No resistance”.
How can you play as scummy Kage. Wolf’s where it’s at.
November 7th, 2007 on 4:38 pm
Look at Asian girl in both pics 1 and 17 – she’s not forgot a thing from her days in the Ann Tythe School for Glamour Girls, just look at that heel lift – and alternating her legs too. What a pro.
November 7th, 2007 on 4:51 pm
Further proof (were it needed) in the first picture that Mario is as gay as Graham Norton’s voile pelmet cover. Sonic is wearing a crafty sneer of conquest, his eyeline is just on the blonde’s pointy bits and he has assumed the classic grasp-and-carry-off stance.
Mario just seems disinterested in the whole shebang. Maybe it’s simply sour grapes because his blue rival got dibs on Blondie.
Nah, who am I kidding? Mario, the other bus is waiting outside for you.
November 7th, 2007 on 5:05 pm
Wouldn’t on any of them. The Indian one needs to eat a few more tikka massalas or some of those giant bhajiis from Morrison’s… she’s unpleasantly thin.
November 7th, 2007 on 5:38 pm
The tug-of-war looks like it was pretty one-sided. The blue (Sonic?) team was made up of able bodied young men (in stupid wigs) whereas the red (Mario?) team seems to comprise only girls and fatties (in stupid wigs).
I suppose it’s only accurate that the Sonic team trounces the Mario team, though.
nfgth – the sound a fatty makes during a tug-of-war
November 7th, 2007 on 6:30 pm
In day-of-despair12 Sonic is flipping us off!
Mr “I’m an ac-tor” was so happy about getting this gig he started a bit early on the nose-candy.
November 7th, 2007 on 6:43 pm
I love the “what the fuck am I doing here?” look from the girl in the 4th picture. It says it all. I don’t think I’ve seen despair and shame caught on camera in such a poignant way since last night when I was watching some rather amateur porn vids. Good times.
November 7th, 2007 on 7:36 pm
Blarg, you’re a fachist piece of shit, please die of cancer soon!
NUMNNN – Sound of Blarg dying of Cancer
November 7th, 2007 on 8:18 pm
In the first photo, Mario looks like he’s holding a MASSIVE joint in his left hand.
He also appears to be shaking his right hand at someone off camera, as if to call them a wanker.
This is the best update in ages.
Ignore the bell end above me.
November 7th, 2007 on 8:53 pm
It’s not a joint, it’s a tampon
November 7th, 2007 on 8:53 pm
So it is you and Wez in a couple of them photos Larry
snarfle – the noise of me chuckling away to myself
November 7th, 2007 on 9:07 pm
You act like you’ve never seen me before Paul ^_^
Were were there for Xleague and ScrewAttack.
November 7th, 2007 on 11:33 pm
This is why I love Sonic, he knows how to have fun ^_^
wjpdths = Mario thought went Sonic smashes him in SSBB
November 8th, 2007 on 9:15 am
Excellent update, alt tags and everything!
11/10
eqdhzd: The noise of satisfaction after reading a good update.
November 8th, 2007 on 11:59 am
Is that Alan Boiston off of XLeague tv stood behind Stuart Hall?
I find it baffling that a man can fashion a (niche) tv career having spouted such gems in his time as ‘he is a great driver even though he has never actually taken a lesson and based purely on being good at Forza on Xbox’.
November 8th, 2007 on 1:20 pm
No, Alan Boiston No longer works for Xleague.
November 8th, 2007 on 5:24 pm
Boiston gone from Xleague = end of an era.
An odd era, but an era nonetheless.
November 8th, 2007 on 10:20 pm
Well he’s coming back at Christmas, but this time as a contestant/guest on shows rather than presenting them.
I’ve met him a few times, he’s a really nice guy in real life!
November 9th, 2007 on 5:25 pm
The fat guy – What’s with that? What’s his story? What’s he doing there? Why is he so fat? Why is there grass indoors? What’s with the fat guy?
vginyxe – hymen busting ointment.
November 9th, 2007 on 9:30 pm
What is this “fachism” you speak of?
November 20th, 2007 on 3:21 am
No Simon is wasn’t me there and my niche TV career (not forgetting the 13 years in the industry preceding it) has been purely formed out of a passion for gaming.
I’m ok at the gaming,won a bit of cash this year and the team has done well too.
Sophie, what did you find odd about my era?