And no, as far as Sony is concerned, it isn’t BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS – the bumbling corporation has been conducting a survey into why people aren’t buying the overpriced disaster machine of no games.

PS3 desperation survey

C. Have no plans.

PS3 desperation survey

F. It’s a right pile of fu

PS3 desperation survey

A few helping words of advice for Sony, learned from our 26 years of operating on the lower rungs of the video game industry ladder.

PS3 desperation survey

A secondhand PSP, half an hour of paying attention to hacking guides, and a broadband connection – instant free games for ever.

PS3 desperation survey

Please do not hesitate to get back in touch should further advice be required.