Problem is, five of those 84 games are the individual events from Wii Sports, nine are Wii Play and 70 are the mini games from Mario Party 8. If you’re going to do this, you may as well list the individual components that make up each Wii to further boost its perceived eBay worth.

POLYSTYRENE PADDED STORAGE BOX

We really didn’t want to get in a crazed WAR ON EBAY over all this business, but some of the shit going down over there deserves carpet bombing.

Perfect for killing time until Christmas dinner's ready

The biggest lie of all. Everyone knows that Wiis get played until the remote batteries go flat three days later, then get put in the cupboard under the stairs for the next person who lives in your house to throw away.