Why do we love Tekken so much? Well, we interviewed ourselves to find out why.

After we got hold of some delicious, illegal drugs, heretofore referred to as “hanky-panky”, we shortly realized that Tekken is THE BEST SERIES EVER and we really love it. Yes, we do! We met ourselves in an Econo Lodge off a dimly-lit dirt road to find out why:

Us: Hello. That is a nice tie you have on there.

Us: Thanks. We found it in a trashcan outside Subway. We were lucky enough to get our delicious meatball sub AND a snazzy tie!

Us: Is that so?

Us: Yes. We cannot afford proper clothes. We have a deep fondness for Maddog 20/20 and Thunderbird, and of course, the “hanky-panky”. *Winks at us* Can’t get enough of that Thunderbird!

Us: So, ourselves, WHY do you love Tekken so much? Are you secretly working for Kutaragi?

Us: Why yes, of course.

Us: Really?

Us: No, we lie, because we have an addiction to cheap fortified wine. *Drinks more Thunderbird*

Us: Certainly there must be SOME reason why you love it so much. The graphics? The music? The fact that it’s always been PlayStation exclusive?

Us: Yes to all! Virtua Fighter is t3h sUxoRZ! ^o^

Us: Wow. We sure admire your enthusiasm. So how long have we been a PS3 owner?

Us: Why, since launch day! And we also use the DualShock 3 as a sex toy.

Us: Speaking of sex… We’ve always been… smitten for ourselves…

Us: Yes indeed…we have… and we can’t hold back our feelings any longer…

Us: Oh…

Us: Oh..!

Us: Oh yes…

Us: Oh yes…!

Us: Oh yes!

Us: OH YES!!

Us: Oh…oh…oh yes! OH YES! OH YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE

And that’s why we love Tekken so much.